She wanted to scream. Her tongue and lips were wool. She knew that far
away, out of the darkness which did not belong to her, something warm
and moist slipped. The child emerged from the blackness in which she was
still caught.
The child passed from the torture which went on without it.
* * * * *
"Mrs. Farley, it's over. You can rest." The nurse leaned close. Winnie
felt the nurse's breath, dry and hot as a sirocco, blown on her cold ear
across the dark.
What did it matter to the rocking dark that the child was born? Her
wrists floated. Her heart strained and gathered itself as if for its
most profound joy.
But the great joy to which she opened, slowly transfigured itself. An
ugly and living shudder ran through her. The joy refused her. At the
instant in which she knew it entirely, she ceased to be. Her heart
stopped beating. She fell back, noiseless.
The nurse, with the child in her lap, sat by a porcelain basin cleansing
the baby with a big sponge.
Dr. Beach called her and she laid the baby in the new crib while she
went quickly for Mrs. Farley.
When the nurse had returned and Dr. Beach was working, attempting to
revive Winnie, Laurence came into the room.
He saw the excitement and helplessness of the doctor. Once Winnie's
eyelids seemed to twitch. Then Laurence leaned forward with a curious
unconscious eagerness. He asked for only one thing. He wanted to know
that Winnie was dead. Stealthily and suspiciously, he watched the
corpse, hating the small relaxed body that had tortured him with its
suffering. He wanted to know that there was no more pain.
PART IV
Mrs. Farley had taken the baby, with its crib, into the nursery. She was
seated in a low rocker, crying by the nursery fire, when May woke up.
Roused from sleep by her grandmother's sobs, May saw Mrs. Farley, with
trembling lips that seemed withered by grief, lifting her head and
swaying her thin body, one knotted hand clutched to her breast as if in
unendurable pain.
"What's the matter, Grandma Farley?" May asked when she could endure the
mystery no longer. She was like an inquisitive little animal, expecting
to be beaten, but determined to gain its end.
Mrs. Farley pretended not to have heard. She was ashamed because she did
not know how to explain her suffering to the child.
"Is--is anybody sick, Grandmother? Is Mamma worse?" May asked again with
piping persistence. She saw the crib and some vagueness in it curiously
agitated. "What's that?" she said excitedly.
Mrs. Farley rose stiffly, her figure half black, and half shining,
against the firelight. Her spectacles glinted where they were fastened
on her untidy flannel waist. Her old black skirt was glossed green where
the fireshine caught in its folds. The gray down on her cheek glistened
like a mist. Separate strands of her hair were threads of metal, hot and
bright on her head.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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