Adventure stories; England -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction; Irish -- England -- Fiction
He seemed moved to help me. "Now, if there comes a well-mounted
traveller," he said, brightening, "I will gain his horse for you if I
die for it."
"And if there comes no well-mounted traveller?"
"I know not, sir. But--perhaps he will come."
"'Tis a cheap rogue who has but one horse," I observed contemptuously.
"You are only a footpad, a simple-minded marquis of the bludgeon."
Now, as I had hoped, this deeply cut his pride.
"Did I not speak of the ballads, sir?" he demanded with considerable
spirit. "Horses? Aye, and have I not three good nags hid behind my
mother's cottage, which is less than a mile from this spot?"
"Monsieur Jem Bottles," said I, not forgetting the French manners
which my father had taught me, "unless you instantly show me the way
to these horses I shall cut off your hands, your feet, and your head;
and, ripping out your bowels, shall sprinkle them on the road for the
first post-horses to mash and trample. Do you understand my intention,
Monsieur Jem Bottles?"
"Sir," he begged, "think of my mother!"
"I think of the horses," I answered grimly. "'Tis for you to think of
your mother. How could I think of your mother when I wouldn't know her
from the Head of Kinsale, if it didn't happen that I know the Head of
Kinsale too well to mistake it for anybody's mother?"
"You speak like a man from foreign parts, sir," he rejoined in a meek
voice; "but I am able to see that your meaning is serious."
"'Tis so serious," said I, rapping him gently on the head with the
butt of my pistol, "that if you don't instantly display a greedy
activity you will display a perfect inability to move."
"The speeching is obscure," said he, "but the rap on the head is
clear to me. Still, it was not kind of you to hit me on the same spot
twice."
He now arose from his mournful seat on the ground, and, still rubbing
his pate, he asked me to follow him. We moved from the highway into a
very narrow lane, and for some time proceeded in silence.
"'Tis a regular dog's life," spoke Jem Bottles after a period of
reflection.
By this time I had grown a strong sympathy for my scoundrel.
"Come, cheer yourself, Jem Bottles," said I. "I have known a lesser
ruffian who was hanged until he was dry, whereas you march along the
lane with nought to your discouragement but three cracks in your
crown."
"'Tis not the cracks in the crown," he answered moodily. "'Tis what my
mother will say."
"I had no thought that highwaymen had mothers," said I. I had resolved
now to take care of his pride, for I saw that he was bound to be
considered a great highwayman, and I did not wish to disturb his
feelings until I gained possession of one of the horses. But now he
grew as indignant as he dared.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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