The Observations of HenryJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"It's competition," replied Henry, "that makes the world go round. You
never want a thing particularly until you see another fellow trying to
get it; then it strikes you all of a sudden that you've a better right to
it than he has. Take barmaids: what's the attraction about 'em? In
looks they're no better than the average girl in the street; while as for
their temper, well that's a bit above the average--leastways, so far as
my experience goes. Yet the thinnest of 'em has her dozen, making
sheep's-eyes at her across the counter. I've known girls that on the
level couldn't have got a policeman to look at 'em. Put 'em behind a row
of tumblers and a shilling's-worth of stale pastry, and nothing outside a
Lincoln and Bennett is good enough for 'em. It's the competition that's
the making of 'em.
"Now, I'll tell you a story," continued Henry, "that bears upon the
subject. It's a pretty story, if you look at it from one point of view;
though my wife maintains--and she's a bit of a judge, mind you--that it's
not yet finished, she arguing that there's a difference between marrying
and being married. You can have a fancy for the one, without caring much
about the other. What I tell her is that a boy isn't a man, and a man
isn't a boy. Besides, it's five years ago now, and nothing has happened
since: though of course one can never say."
"I would like to hear the story," I ventured to suggest; "I'll be able to
judge better afterwards."
"It's not a long one," replied Henry, "though as a matter of fact it
began seventeen years ago in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. He was a wild
young fellow, and always had been."
"Who was?" I interrupted.
"Tom Sleight," answered Henry, "the chap I'm telling you about. He
belonged to a good family, his father being a Magistrate for
Monmouthshire; but there had been no doing anything with young Tom from
the very first. At fifteen he ran away from school at Clifton, and with
everything belonging to him tied up in a pocket-handkerchief made his way
to Bristol Docks. There he shipped as boy on board an American schooner,
the Cap'n not pressing for any particulars, being short-handed, and the
boy himself not volunteering much. Whether his folks made much of an
effort to get him back, or whether they didn't, I can't tell you. Maybe,
they thought a little roughing it would knock some sense into him.
Anyhow, the fact remains that for the next seven or eight years, until
the sudden death of his father made him a country gentleman, a more or
less jolly sailor-man he continued to be. And it was during that
period--to be exact, three years after he ran away and four years before
he returned--that, as I have said, at Portsmouth, New Hampshire, he
married, after ten days' courtship, Mary Godselle, only daughter of Jean
Godselle, saloon keeper of that town."
"That makes him just eighteen," I remarked; "somewhat young for a
bridegroom."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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