The Observations of Henry: IllustratedJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry: Illustrated
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Waiters -- Fiction
Well, my talking like that cheered him, and when we reached
Birmingham he was easier. We tackled the station-master, and he
tackled all the porters who could have been about the platform
when the 5.13 came in. All of 'em agreed that no gent got out of
that train carrying a hamper. The station-master was a family man
himself, and when we explained the case to him he sympathised and
telegraphed to Banbury. The booking-clerk at Banbury remembered
only three gents booking by that particular train. One had been
Mr. Jessop, the corn-chandler; the second was a stranger, who had
booked to Wolverhampton; and the third had been young Milberry
himself. The business began to look hopeless, when one of Smith's
newsboys, who was hanging around, struck in:
“I see an old lady,” says he, “hovering about outside the station,
and a-hailing cabs, and she had a hamper with her as was as like
that one there as two peas.”
I thought young Milberry would have fallen upon the boy's neck and
kissed him. With the boy to help us, we started among the cabmen.
Old ladies with dog-baskets ain't so difficult to trace. She had
gone to a small second-rate hotel in the Aston Road. I heard all
particulars from the chambermaid, and the old girl seems to have
had as bad a time in her way as my gent had in his. They couldn't
get the hamper into the cab, it had to go on the top. The old lady
was very worried, as it was raining at the time, and she made
the cabman cover it with his apron. Getting it off the cab they
dropped the whole thing in the road; that woke the child up, and
it began to cry.
“Good Lord, Ma'am! what is it?” asks the chambermaid, “a baby?”
“Yes, my dear, it's my baby,” answers the old lady, who seems to
have been a cheerful sort of old soul--leastways, she was cheerful
up to then. “Poor dear, I hope they haven't hurt him.”
The old lady had ordered a room with a fire in it. The Boots took
the hamper up, and laid it on the hearthrug. The old lady said she
and the chambermaid would see to it, and turned him out. By this
time, according to the girl's account, it was roaring like a
steam-siren.
“Pretty dear!” says the old lady, fumbling with the cord, “don't
cry; mother's opening it as fast as she can.” Then she turns to
the chambermaid--“If you open my bag,” says she, “you will find a
bottle of milk and some dog-biscuits.”
“Dog-biscuits!” says the chambermaid.
“Yes,” says the old lady, laughing, “my baby loves dog-biscuits.”
The girl opened the bag, and there, sure enough, was a bottle of
milk and half a dozen Spratt's biscuits. She had her back to the
old lady, when she heard a sort of a groan and a thud as made
her turn round. The old lady was lying stretched dead on the
hearthrug--so the chambermaid thought. The kid was sitting up in
the hamper yelling the roof off. In her excitement, not knowing
what she was doing, she handed it a biscuit, which it snatched at
greedily and began sucking.
[Illustration: 0119]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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