The Observations of Henry: IllustratedJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry: Illustrated
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Waiters -- Fiction
|It's competition,” replied Henry, “that makes the world go round.
You never want a thing particularly until you see another fellow
trying to get it; then it strikes you all of a sudden that you've
a better right to it than he has. Take barmaids: what's the
attraction about 'em? In looks they're no better than the average
girl in the street; while as for their temper, well that's a bit
above the average--leastways, so far as my experience goes. Yet
the thinnest of 'em has her dozen, making sheep's-eyes at her
across the counter. I've known girls that on the level couldn't
have got a policeman to look at 'em. Put 'em behind a row of
tumblers and a shilling's-worth of stale pastry, and nothing
outside a Lincoln and Bennett is good enough for 'em. It's the
competition that's the making of 'em.
“Now, I'll tell you a story,” continued Henry, “that bears upon
the subject. It's a pretty story, if you look at it from one point
of view; though my wife maintains--and she's a bit of a judge,
mind you--that it's not yet finished, she arguing that there's
a difference between marrying and being married. You can have a
fancy for the one, without caring much about the other. What
I tell her is that a boy isn't a man, and a man isn't a boy.
Besides, it's five years ago now, and nothing has happened since:
though of course one can never say.”
“I would like to hear the story,” I ventured to suggest; “I'll be
able to judge better afterwards.”
“It's not a long one,” replied Henry, “though as a matter of fact
it began seventeen years ago in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. He was
a wild young fellow, and always had been.”
“Who was?” I interrupted.
“Tom Sleight,” answered Henry, “the chap I'm telling you about.
He belonged to a good family, his father being a Magistrate for
Monmouthshire; but there had been no doing anything with young
Tom from the very first. At fifteen he ran away from school
at Clifton, and with everything belonging to him tied up in
a pocket-handkerchief made his way to Bristol Docks. There he
shipped as boy on board an American schooner, the Cap'n not
pressing for any particulars, being short-handed, and the boy
himself not volunteering much. Whether his folks made much of an
effort to get him back, or whether they didn't, I can't tell you.
Maybe, they thought a little roughing it would knock some sense
into him. Anyhow, the fact remains that for the next seven or
eight years, until the sudden death of his father made him a
country gentleman, a more or less jolly sailor-man he continued to
be. And it was during that period--to be exact, three years after
he ran away and four years before he returned--that, as I have
said, at Portsmouth, New Hampshire, he married, after ten days'
courtship, Mary Godselle, only daughter of Jean Godselle, saloon
keeper of that town.”
“That makes him just eighteen,” I remarked; “somewhat young for a
bridegroom.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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