The Observations of Henry: IllustratedJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry: Illustrated
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Waiters -- Fiction
“'It's come to a head,' says I to myself; 'he has explained
everything, and has managed to satisfy her. He's a cleverer chap
than I took him for.'
“He didn't turn up at the Cafe that day, however, at all, and she
never said a word until closing time, when she asked me to walk
part of the way home with her.
“'Well,' I says, so soon as we had reached a quieter street, 'is
the comedy over?'
“'No,' says she, 'so far as I'm concerned it's commenced. To tell
you the truth, it's been a bit too serious up to now to please me.
I'm only just beginning to enjoy myself,' and she laughed, quite
her old light-hearted laugh.
“'You seem to be a bit more cheerful,' I says.
“'I'm feeling it,' says she; 'he's not as bad as I thought. We
went to Versailles yesterday.'
“'Pretty place, Versailles,' says I; 'paths a bit complicated if
you don't know your way among 'em.'
“'They do wind,' says she.
“'And there he told you that he loved you, and explained
everything?'
“'You're quite right,' says she, 'that's just what happened. And
then he kissed me for the first and last time, and now he's on his
way to America.'
“'On his way to America?' says I, stopping still in the middle of
the street.
“'To find his wife,' she says. 'He's pretty well ashamed of
himself for not having tried to do it before. I gave him one or
two hints how to set about it--he's not over smart--and I've got
an idea he will discover her.' She dropped her joking manner,
and gave my arm a little squeeze. She'd have flirted with her own
grandfather--that's my opinion of her.
“'He was really nice,' she continues. 'I had to keep lecturing
myself, or I'd have been sorry for him. He told me it was his love
for me that had shown him what a wretch he had been. He said
he knew I didn't care for him two straws--and there I didn't
contradict him--and that he respected me all the more for it. I
can't explain to you how he worked it out, but what he meant was
that I was so good myself that no one but a thoroughly good fellow
could possibly have any chance with me, and that any other sort
of fellow ought to be ashamed of himself for daring even to be
in love with me, and that he couldn't rest until he had proved to
himself that he was worthy to have loved me, and then he wasn't
going to love me any more.'
“'It's a bit complicated,' says I. 'I suppose you understood it?'
“'It was perfectly plain,' says she, somewhat shortly, 'and, as I
told him, made me really like him for the first time.'
“'It didn't occur to him to ask you why you had been flirting like
a volcano with a chap you didn't like,' says I.
“'He didn't refer to it as flirtation,' says she. 'He regarded it
as kindness to a lonely man in a strange land.'
“'I think you'll be all right,' says I. 'There's all the makings
of a good husband in him--seems to be simple-minded enough,
anyhow.'
“'He has a very lovable personality when you once know him,' says
she. 'All sailors are apt to be thoughtless.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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