He made no reply, but put on his overcoat and his hat, and took his
stick. Glancing up the stairs, he saw Nellie was now standing at the
head of them, under the electric light there, and watching him. He knew
that she thought he was cravenly obeying her command. She could have no
idea that before she spoke to him he had already decided to put on his
overcoat and hat and take his stick and go forth into the major world.
However, that was no affair of his.
He hesitated a second. Then the nurse appeared out of the kitchen with
a squalling Maisie in her arms, and ran up-stairs. Why Maisie was
squalling, and why she should have been in the kitchen at such an hour
instead of in bed, he could not guess; but he could guess that if he
remained one second longer in that exasperating minor world he would
begin to smash furniture, and so he quitted it.
V.
It was raining slightly, but he dared not return to the house for his
umbrella. In the haze and wet of the shivering October night, the clock
of Bleakridge Church glowed like a fiery disk suspended in the sky; and,
mysteriously hanging there, without visible means of support, it seemed
to him somehow to symbolise the enigma of the universe and intensify his
inward gloom. Never before had he had such feelings to such a degree.
It is scarcely an exaggeration to say that never before had the enigma
of the universe occurred to him. The side gates clicked as he stood
hesitant under the shelter of the wall, and a figure emerged from his
domain. It was Bellfield, the new chauffeur, going across to his home
in the little square in front of the church. Bellfield touched his cap
with an eager and willing hand, as new chauffeurs will.
"Want the car, sir? Setting in for a wet night!"
"No, thanks."
It was a lie. He did want the car. He wanted the car so that he might
ride right away into a new and more interesting world, or at any rate
into Hanbridge, centre of the pleasures, the wickedness, and the
commerce of the Five Towns. But he dared not have the car. He dared
not have his own car. He must slip off, noiseless and unassuming. Even
to go to Dr. Stirling’s he dared not have the car. Besides, he could
have walked down the hill to Dr. Stirling’s in three minutes. Not that
he had the least intention of going to Dr. Stirling’s. No! His wife
imagined that he was going; but she was mistaken. Within an hour, when
Dr. Stirling had failed to arrive, she would doubtless telephone, and
get her Dr. Stirling. Not, however, with Edward Henry’s assistance!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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