The number of times them old-fashioned bartenders has saved my life summer and winter with good advice is as too numerous to mention as is the stars in the sky and their name is legend as the good book says. In them days when there was a barroom on every corner and sometimes four barrooms on every four corners I never cared about the weather at all for I knowed no matter what the weather was I could keep my health safe. If you was to look out the barroom window and see a sudden change in the weather you could make a sudden change and switch to some other kind of drink and keep yourself protected from them sudden changes. But in these days when a sudden change in the weather comes what protection have you got I would like to know. You are running the risks of them sudden changes all the time day and night, and no chance to change your drink to meet them with for you are lucky if you have one kind of liquor let alone all the different kinds of ingredients you used to ornament your digestion with. Nowadays when the weather ain't just right I have to stay home in my own room up to the top of the house where I got that little bar rigged up where I wait on myself and staying to home all the time ain't any too good for me. It don't give me a chance to get any outdoor exercise, staying at home don't and a man needs outdoor exercise if he is going to keep his health. That is another thing Prohibition has done to me: it has took away all my chance for outdoor exercise. I reckon them Prohibitionists will be satisfied when they got everybody's health broke down on account of them sudden changes in the weather and nobody getting any outdoor exercise any more. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN--The Old Soak Finds a Way [Illustration: 0079] YES, sir; yes, sir!” said the Old Soak, with a happy smile on his face. “I've done found out the way to beat the game--! Ask me no questions, and I'll tell ye no lies as to how I done it. “Ye see this here bottle, do ye? Kentucky Bourbon, and nothin' else. Bottled in bond, an' there's plenty more where that comes from.--Ask me no questions, and I'll enrich ye with no misinformations!--Ye see that there little car parked out there by the curbstone, do ye? Well, sir, that there car is _my_ car, and under the back seat of it is twelve quarts of this here stuff!--And it ain't home brewed, neither; it's some of the best liquor you ever throwed your lips over!--How do I do it?--Don't ply me with no questions, and I won't bring you no false witnesses! “Notice these here new clothes of mine? Well, sir, that there suit's a bargain.--It only cost me two cases of rye.--I got three new suits like that to home, an' I'm figgerin' on buying one of these here low neck an' short sleeve dress suits for to wear to banquets this winter.--They's a whole passel o' folks would like to give me banquets this cornin' season.--How do I do it?--Ask me no questions, and I'll give you no back talk!