And saw it had been sent from Happy, Kansas, And all the time the precious Minutes fluttered by Banker Jasper Grinder, in Nicodemus, Kansas, Minute after minute, Was approaching nearer to the hour of his desire . . . I could hear him chuckle, The dry and throaty chuckle that village bankers chuckle In the semi-arid regions Another inspiration came to me and I cried: “I will run my flivver To Nicodemus, Kansas, On alcohol, by heck! I can make the engine in my little flivver Run to Nicodemus, Kansas, On alcohol, by Henry!” But the crowd that gathered around me Laffed and laffed and laffed . . . “They ain't no alcohol in Kansas,” Said the crowd, between its chortles-- “Kansas is a dry State, It's prohibition Kansas, And you'll never get to Nicodemus Graham County, Kansas,” Just then the village toper A gentle creature and decayed Thrust into my hand a gallon Of Stutter's Stomach Bitters, He handed me four big quarts Of Stutter's Stomach Bitters, And I poured 'em in the tank and left the town of Quenemo, with the engine doing lovely And the flivver going strong And I reached the town of Skiddy, The town of Skiddy, Kansas, in Morris County, Kansas, And I drew up by the drug store and I yelled For Stutter's Stomach Bitters . . . “I must reach Elvira Simpkins, in Nicodemus, Kansas, 'Ere the clock strikes 12 . . . Give me Bitters, give me Bitters! Fill the tank with Bitters, for I race to raise the mortgage But the druggist said: “There's been a run on Bitters! Considerable colic in this watermelon weather!-- How about Stewroona?” On a gallon of Stewroona I ran from Skiddy, Kansas, As far as Elmo, Kansas, And there I laid in nineteen quarts Of prohibition appetizer: Doctor Bunkus's Discovery for Kidneys Westward, aver westward;”: To my love,- Elvira Simpkins At Nicodemus, Kansas, I ran on Doctor Bunkus, through the dryest belt of Kansas, Through the prohibition centre, Dear Old Doctor Bunkus urged my little flivver; From Elmo, to Palacky, Six quarts of Lily Gingham's Discovery And a dozen more of Bunkus Took me nearer, nearer, nearer, To my love, Elvira Simpkins . . . From Palacky west to Pfeifer, Through the town of Fingal, Then northward to Ogallah, I ran on Si wash Injun Soorah, A Remedy for Liver Trouble, Take a wineglass full before each meal. Nearer, ever nearer, to my love at Nicodemus From Ogallah north to Happy, North to Happy, Kansas, in Graham County, Kansas, North and west to Happy, word of glorious omen . . . And the villagers came down to sniff the glad aroma Of the flying flivver As I turned north to Nicodemus