The old vicarage : $b A novelHubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
General
The old vicarage : $b A novel
Hubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
English fiction -- 19th century
She felt how very disinterested it was of a rich man like Mr.
Huyton――clever, fashionable, admired, no doubt, in the world――to ask
for the hand of a simple country maiden like herself, whose future
fortune bore no proportion to his, and whose family could add nothing
to his honor or influence. He might represent the county if he chose;
he had discussed the subject several times with Mr. Duncan; he might,
no doubt, win a wife from any noble family in the land; and yet he
loved her, and asked her to marry him. The wonder of her mind at his
making such a choice, so unequal in every respect as her modesty made
her think it, was only surpassed by her astonishment at finding that
she could not love him in return. Why not?――why could not all his good
qualities, his ardent affection, and his kindness to her family,
influence her to wish to be his wife? Why did the idea seem
incompatible with happiness? and why did the notion of reigning
at ‘the Ferns’ make her cling the closer to her duties and
responsibilities at the Vicarage?
Was it the mere idea of leaving those she loved? there was something
in that; for she was not blinded by the fallacies of his arguments;
she knew the separation would be more than nominal; she knew it must
be real, because it ought to be so. Once mistress of ‘the Ferns,’ in
how many new duties and cares should she not be involved, with which
her old pursuits at Hurstdene would be incompatible; and once Mr.
Huyton’s wife, his claims on her time and society would be paramount;
and would he yield them to others? She was convinced he would not. It
was true, he was at Hurstdene every day _now_, but then it would be
different; and every future plan on which he now dwelt would call him
in an opposite direction.
She did not say to herself in words, or form a distinct idea in her
mind, that he was innately selfish or self-willed; but it was this
unexpressed thought and feeling which made her certain that his wife
must make him her first and last object, if she would please him, and
be at peace.
Hilary could not have told why she mistrusted one who talked so well
and acted so fairly; she had unconsciously explained it by a symbol to
him when she dwelt on the peculiarities of her favorite plant; but she
did not know that she was the Virginian creeper, he the wall which
bore the fair appearance of stone, and was in truth only stucco, and
that, to one of her nature, the effort to attach herself to him must
be utterly vain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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