The old vicarage : $b A novelHubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
General
The old vicarage : $b A novel
Hubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
English fiction -- 19th century
Yet scarce was the ink dry on the paper where she wrote these lines,
than her pleasant dreams were suddenly dissipated, and the very sorrow
which she had refused to consider as probable, was presented to her
mind. Mrs. Duncan was ill――very ill――alarmingly so; and before that
sun which had set in such glory, returned to their view, the eyes that
had gazed on it so earnestly were closed in death, and the spirit
which had looked out so clear and loving but twelve hours before, had
fled to that land which needs no sun to lighten it, and which knows
neither change, nor time, nor darkness.
The mother just now in all the prime of womanhood, in her glorious
beauty, was cold, and white, and silent, and on her arm lay the tiny
marble face of that little being, whose entrance to this world had
cost his parents such a price, and whose stay had been so short, that
you wondered why he came at all.
On Hilary devolved the task of making her young sisters acquainted
with their loss; of communicating to them the sad change that one
night had occasioned; for this, when all was over, and her father had
withdrawn to the solitude of his own study, she crept softly to their
sleeping apartment, and sitting down beside the bed, watched patiently
and silently for their first awaking.
Her grief was very quiet, although very deep. In idea she tried to
follow the departed, and to realize what she now was, so far as mortal
fancy might paint it; and the glad, solemn, mysterious thought, that
that dear one had felt her last grief, suffered her last pain, heaved
her last sigh forever, made it seem even a profanation to indulge
regret. It was when she permitted her thoughts to anticipate, that she
shuddered and mourned; it was the future for herself, her sisters, her
father, which made her tremble. How barren and blank it seemed; the
sweet voice which had taught and soothed her, silent now; the bright
smile vanished forever; the sunshine of the house gone; who would fill
her place? Could it be that she so young, so simple, so inexperienced,
that she should be called on to attempt this heavy duty? did it
devolve on her to soothe, instruct, watch over her sisters, to think
for the household, to comfort her bereaved father, assist in
lightening his cares, or sharing his anxieties? _She_ had told her
such would be her duty――had bid her reflect on the responsibilities
laid on her; had warned, encouraged, and comforted her――and as she had
spoken so, Hilary had felt strong and trustful; but now――oh! how
miserably weak, ignorant, helpless, and deficient she appeared to
herself; the memory of all her own girlish faults, indolence,
thoughtlessness, ignorance, selfish indulgences, idle ways, all the
many failings for which she daily judged and condemned herself, rose
up in her mind, and seemed to say, “impossible;” seemed to whisper to
her that her task was harder than she could endure; that such a life
of carefulness and watching, and thought for others, and denial of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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