The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 2Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
History
The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 2
Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
I was speaking to a New England Congress chap, this morning, concerning
the recent events which I am compelled to remain silent about, and,
says he: "The proper way to save the Union is to bewilder the rebels by
issuing calls for fresh troops at breakfast-time, and countermanding
the calls as soon as the coffee comes in. Strategy," says the grave
legislative chap, thoughtfully, "is not confined to the tented field;
it may be used with good effect by Cabinet ministers; and our recent
proposal to reduce the army 150,000 men was a piece of consummate
legislative strategy."
Legislative strategy is a very good thing to bewilder the rebels, my
boy; and if it also bewilders everybody else, the moral effect of the
adjournment of Congress will prove rather beneficial than otherwise to
our distracted country.
Yours, under suppression,
ORPHEUS C. KERR.
LETTER LIV.
ILLUSTRATING THE DISASTROUS EFFECTS OF STRATEGY UPON NATIONAL
LITERATURE, AS EXEMPLIFIED IN THE ORIGINAL TALE READ BY OUR
CORRESPONDENT BEFORE THE COSMOPOLITAN CLUB.
WASHINGTON, D. C., July 9th, 1862.
A few weeks ago, my boy, when national strategy seemed rapidly coming
to a distinct understanding with the American Eagle, and the fall of
Richmond had resolved itself into a mere question of time--as slightly
distinguished from Eternity,--I became a member of the Cosmopolitan
Club.
This club, my boy, is a select draft from the host of clumsy but
respectable foreigners now assembled here to criticize the military
performances of our distracted country, and I have the honor to
represent my native land, _solus_, in it. Its members are, a civilized
Russian chap named Vitchisvitch, a Turk named N. E. Ottoman, an
Englishman named Smith-Brown, a Frenchman named Bonbon, a German named
Tuyfeldock, a Spaniard and myself.
The object of this small international organization, which meets once
every three weeks, is to advance the cause of free and easy literature
in the lulls of national strife, and preserve coherent ideality and
tolerable grammar from falling into disuse. The foreign chaps, my boy,
all speak much better English than a majority of our brigadiers; and in
order to give a system to our proceedings, it has been resolved, that
each of us, in turn, shall relate an old-fashioned story relating to
his own particular country; and that all shall take pains to contribute
miscellaneous items for the general delectation of the club.
The privilege of producing the first story was voted to me, my boy, and
at the meeting of the Cosmopolitan last evening, I produced from my
pocket a manuscript already secured from me by a wealthy journal
(VANITY FAIR.--ED.) for a fabulous sum, and proceeded to regale
assembled Europe with
A QUARTER OF TWELVE.
CHAPTER I.--F. F. VICISSITUDES.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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