The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 2Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
History
The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 2
Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
The forces of the Southern Confederacy--so called because a majority of
them were forced into the service--had just won another glorious
victory over their disinclination to retreat, and were rapidly
following it up, propelled by the National Army. The richest and best
blood of the South was profusely running for the cause to which it was
devoted, accompanied by those notable possessors in whose cases it
poured in vein.
Seated at his breakfast-table in the city of Richmond, with his wife
for a _vis-a-vis_ at a board that might well have groaned for more
things than one, and his daughter at his right hand, was Mr. ORDETH, a
scion of one of those Virginia Families very properly designated as
"First" for the reason that no other Families on earth have ever felt
inclined to second them in anything.
Mr. ORDETH was a personage of fiery and chivalrous visage, from the
lower circumference of which depended iron-grey whiskers, so similar in
shape to the caudal appendage of a mule, that one might suppose nature
to have intended the construction of an _asinus domesticus_ when first
she commenced to mould the mortal material, but, having inadvertently
planted the tail at the wrong end, was satisfied to finish him off as a
man. His hair was too much of a brush in its own character to agree
well with an artificial brush in the objective case; he wore a _robe de
chambre_ richly illustrated with impossible flowers growing on
improbable soil--let us say on holey ground; his nether continuations
were spotted here and there with diminutive banners of broadcloth
secession, and it was noticeable as he stretched his feet under the
table that his slippers had once done duty as crochet watch-cases.
The table spread for the morning meal was peculiarly Virginiatic, being
very rich in plate and poor in provender; for hoe-cake and fried
Carolina potatoes were the only eatables visible, whilst the usual
places of coffee-pot, bread-plate and salt-cellar were supplied with
cards inscribed: "Coffee $20 per lb., in consequence of
Blockade."--"Flour $24 per bbl."--"Salt $25 per lb." If any member of
the Family felt inclined to wish for any of these last articles, he, or
she, had but to glance at the card substitutes to lose instantaneously
all appetite for said articles. There was philosophy in this idea, _mon
ami_.
"LIBBY," said Mr. ORDETH, addressing his daughter, whose auburn curls
and pretty face were none the less attractive because they crowned what
seemed to be a troubled fountain of extremely loud calico with a dash
of moonlight on top--"LIBBY," said he, "pass me the morning journal."
The morning journal, which had recently augmented its value as a family
and commercial sheet by coming out on superior wrapping paper, was
passed to her father by LIBBY, she having first satisfied herself, with
a sigh of disappointment, that the list of deaths did not contain the
name of a single one of her friends.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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