Woman, _mon ami_, does not regard death as you and I do. To her it is a sleep in which the slumberer himself becomes a dream for the rest of the world; and its announcement is to her the mere evening breeze that softly lifts another leaf in the sacred Volume of Memory, and lets the starlight, falling through a shower of tears, rest on a name henceforth to live immortal in the heart. I was told this by a young lady who wears spectacles and writes for the Boston press. As Mr. ORDETH perused the latest news from the seat of war, his bosom heaved to such an extent that one or two of the pins confining the front of his dressing-gown to his throat gave out. "HONORIA," said he, addressing his quiet little wife, who was spasmodically eating and repairing a rent in her dress simultaneously,--"we have again defeated the hordes of LINCOLN, and I think, my dear, that we had better get ready to leave Richmond. The _Enquirer_ says: 'Yesterday a half a hundred of our troops were attacked near Fredericksburg by nearly forty thousand Yankees, whom they compelled to retreat after them toward this city. We took four hundred prisoners who will be demanded of the enemy immediately, and all of our men, save the messenger bringing the news, are now briskly pushing forward in the direction of Fort Lafayette.' You see, my dear, we always whip them inland. The Yankees gain all their victories on water." Which is very true; for it is as much a fact that the national troops win their triumphs on water, as it is that the rebels do _their_ best on whiskey. Mrs. ORDETH made no verbal reply to her husband's exultations, but assumed that simpering expression of countenance by which ladies are accustomed to denote their amiable willingness to swallow without question whatever the speaker may say. "Providence is evidently favorable to the South," continued the head of the Family, impressively, "and has thus far treated us in a gentlemanly manner; but should it happen, HONORIA, that the Hessian vandals of LINCOLN _should_ reach this city, I myself will be the first to fire all I hold dear, rather than let it fall into the hands of the invader. Yes!" exclaimed Mr. ORDETH with enthusiasm, rising from his chair and moving excitedly toward the door of the apartment,--"with my own hands would I apply the torch to you and to my child." "O VICTOR," said Mrs. ORDETH, with tears springing to her eyes, "I reckon you would." "Aside from the wrongs of the South," continued the inspired ORDETH, pushing his bowie-knife a little further round behind his back, that it might not hurt his hip,--"we have Family losses to avenge. Only yesterday, my uncle was struck at Yorktown with a shell that completely tore his head from his body." "How perfectly absurd!" ejaculated the hitherto silent LIBBY. "Why it's actually ridiculous," said Mrs. ORDETH. And so it was. The sex have a keen perception of the ludicrous.