The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 3Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
History
The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 3
Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
"The moment she uttered these last words," says the Honest Abe, "the
moment she uttered these words, my friend Podger, who had been standing
near the door, the very picture of misery, suddenly gave a start,
brightened up with a look of intense joy, beckoned the clergyman to
follow him into the kitchen, and fairly danced down stairs. In fact,
the good minister found him dancing about the kitchen like one
possessed, and says he:
"'Mr. Podger! Job Podger! I am shocked. What can you mean by such
conduct?'
"My friend Podger caught him around the neck, and says he:
"'She's going to get well--she's going to get well! I knew she wouldn't
go and leave her poor old silly Job in that way. Oh, an't I a happy old
fool, though!'
"The clergyman stepped back in alarm, and says he:
"'Are you mad, sir? How do you know your wife will get well?'
"Poor Podger looked upon the parson with a face that fairly beamed, and
says he: 'How do I _know_ it? Why, didn't you hear her yourself? _She's
commenced to call me names!_'"
Here the Honest Abe smiled abstractedly out of the window, and says he:
"She did get well, too, and lived to suffer often again for Podger's
sake: You see," says the Honest Abe, turning suddenly upon the
political chap, as though he had not seen him before,--"you see, Mrs.
Podger had been so much in the habit of suffering everything for my
friend Podger's sake, that when she spoke of suffering even for the
noblest cause, he naturally thought she was only calling names. And
that's the way," says the Honest Abe, cheerfully, "that's the way with
your Democratic Organization. It has been so long in the habit of
sacrificing everything for the sake of the sunny South and Party, that
when it talks of sacrificing both for the sake of the holy cause of
Union, it seems to me as though it is only calling names!"
Immediately upon the termination of this wholesome domestic tale, the
political chap sprang from his seat, smiled feebly at the ceiling for a
minute, crammed his hat down over his eyes, and fled greatly
demoralized.
The New Year, my boy, dawns blithely upon our distracted country as
accurately predicted by the Tribune Almanac; and having given much deep
thought to the matter, I am impressed with the conviction that the
first of January is indeed the commencement of the year. There is
something solemn in the idea; it is the period when our tailors send in
their little bills, and when fresh thoughts of the negro race steal
upon our minds. How many New Years have arrived only to find the
unoffending American, of African descent, a hopeless bondman, toiling
in hopeless servitude, and wearing coarse underclothing! Occasionally,
my boy, he would wear a large seal ring, but it was always brass; and
now and then he would exhibit a large breastpin, but it was always
galvanized. When I see my fellow-men here wearing much jewelry, I think
of the unoffending negro, and say to myself, "from the same shop, by
all that's bogus!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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