'Twas on New-Year's Eve that I took prominent part in a great literary entertainment at the tent of Captain Villiam Brown, near the shore of Duck Lake; and responded to universal mackerel desire by sweetly singing an historical Southern ROMAUNT. I. 'Tis of a rich planter in Dixie I tell, Who had for his daughter a pretty dam-sel; Her name it was Linda De Pendleton Coates, And large was her fortune in treasury notes. CHORUS.--Concisely setting forth the exact value of those happy treasury notes: The treasury note of the Dixian knight Possesses a value that ne'er comes to light,-- Except when the holder, too literal far, May bring it to light as he lights his segar. II. Miss Linda's boudoir was a sight to behold: A Northern man's breast-bone a shelf did uphold; Of dried Yankee ribs all her boxes were full; Her powder she kept in a Fire Zouave's skull. CHORUS.--Beautifully explaining Southern taste for Northern bones, and proving that an author's bones are sacred in the sight of Southern damsels: Your soft Southern maidens (like nations at large, Who take the dear bones of their authors in charge) Are so literary, they'd far rather scan A Norther's dead bones than the best living man. III. She played the piano; embroidered also, And worked worsted poodles and trees in a row; Made knitting-work slippers that no one could wear, And plastered pomatum all over her hair. CHORUS.--Satisfactorily revealing to the curious fair sex why she used pomatum when Bandoline was in fashion: Though Bandoline surely excels all pomade, The Southern supply couldn't run the blockade; At first it _did_ bring an exorbitant sum, And then contrabandoline straight did become. IV. As Linda was practising "Norma," one day, Her father came in in his usual way; And having first spat on the carpeted floor, Went on to address her as never before: CHORUS.--Showing conclusively why this tender parent had never done so before: On Southern plantations when money is flush Paternal affection comes out with a gush: But when, as in the war times, the cash is _non est_, The Father is lost in the planter distressed. V. "My daughter, my Linda," he tenderly said, "Your mother for several years has been dead; But not until now could I muster the strength To tell you what all must have found out at length." CHORUS.--Casually demonstrating how it must really have been found out at length: The Dixian feminines, true to their sex, To each other's precedents pay their respects; And if there's a secret in any girl's life, They're bound to disclose it before she's a wife. VI.