"Oh, I know there's nothing here to compare with your own place," he
went on, with a little ill-tempered laugh. "But I didn't think you were
too proud to set foot to the ground in Applum, for all that."
"Edward, it isn't that at all. I can't go just now."
"You _can't_ go?" asked her husband, with an air of profound
astonishment.
All this had passed before Sven had time to think. "I ought not to
hear," he said to himself. And to make his presence known, he rattled
the handle of the door, opened the door itself and closed it again,
stamped his feet and coughed. But no one seemed to notice, and the two
in the next room went on again.
"No, I can't," repeated the young wife. "There is something in this
place that stifles me; I can't breathe. It isn't just longing for home,
but something more. I am well and happy enough as long as I keep to the
house, but as soon as I go out it comes over me again."
She spoke passionately, flinging out her words in broken snatches.
"But, Sigrun," said the Priest, "what is the matter with you? I meant no
harm."
"I'm not so proud, indeed I'm not," she cried. "Ask any of those at
home, and they'll tell you it was never my way to be so. And it's not
because the place is not pretty to look at that I can't bear to go out.
No, it is something else--if only I knew what it was!"
"Look here, Sigrun," said her husband, "you must tell me what all this
means. We must talk this over seriously, that's clear."
Sven Elversson was at a loss to know what to do. He had already heard
too much, perhaps; it would make matters worse to let them know he had
been there. He walked to the door, but turned back again. He was always
in doubt now as to how to act. It would be hard to find a man so
undecided and lacking in self-confidence.
"I didn't want to tell you about it," said the young wife, speaking
breathlessly and impatiently as before, "for I know it's nothing really.
Only something that comes over me as soon as I go outside the house. Not
anything I can see or hear, but something that makes me feel miserable
and sorry for myself. It is cruel to think that I must go about here
always, and never get away; I feel as if I had been condemned for some
crime. It is just that--to feel myself condemned to stay for ever in one
place, the same little, narrow, monotonous, cheerless place."
"Now I know," thought Sven to himself, "she is only saying this so that
he shall say something beautiful in return, as he did before. And the
Priest's a man with the heart and head to set her right again--'twill be
easy enough for him."
"Oh, if only one could look out and see far away--if only I were not
buried here, in a hole, and had not that wall of hills all round. But it
must be a punishment for something I have done, or I should not have
come here. Oh, can't you say something to help me?"
Now it must come, thought Sven. Now surely he would say some beautiful
thing. And it would be fine to see how he would help her again this
time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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