The true Driver of the Quill is a virtuous Person. He wears his hair long in token that he does not sleep with his precious head in the lap of Delilah. To every literary Aspirant my advice is: Leave thy sconce well thatched and keep comb and scissors at the distance of an Irish mile. Let thy shock grow like a young forest, allowing it to be tossed by the wanton western wind, but touched not by horse clippers nor sheep shears. The Greeks were called the long-haired. Scissors were a barbarous Roman invention, afterwards adopted by the Puritans. In olden time the first mark set on a slave was to shave his head, and any man who getteth even now a sentence of sixty days secures a close crop; whereas thirty-day guests go untrimmed. Yea, wear thy hair longer than a lawsuit. It is the sign that thou art Free. * * * * * When Philip asked that eunuch “Understandest thou what thou readest?” he propounded a very needless question. Only men and women who are well sexed understand what they read; ’tis they, and they only, who possess the ability to see the unseen. * * * * * “Do you ever get lonesome?” asked the Giddy Youth of the Only Bernhardt. “Do I get lonesome? Why, little boy, I often get as lonesome as my feet were the first time I rode a horse astride,” was the answer. * * * * * Come, fellows: leave thinking of your thoughts and feeling of your feelings; never mind how your heroine would have regarded herself if the lover had spoken earlier or later—he didn’t, so it doesn’t matter a rap; and don’t fret too awfully much about the way your yarn is to get itself into words. Only give us something behind the words. Give us action, story, incident, life. More things are happening right here in Yankeeland than in any other equal space of earth. Tell about them. * * * * * If Dr. Conan Doyle and Miss Mary Wilkins and Miss Sarah O. Jewett had sent the same kind of literature to the magazines, and things, ten years ago that they send now, how cheerfully it would not have been accepted. * * * * *