My Trans-Asian neighbor, Li Hung Chang, tells me he felt quite at home when he came into this country and found everybody wearing button decorations. He was a little shocked though when he found the insignia of rank devoted to party cries and ribald slang—for he comes of a sincere race, and veneration for dignities is a principle of life with them. However, he thinks we are well on the way to the establishment of privileged orders. The self made crests on our carriages further encouraged him. No doubt he will see more of these as he goes on. If he attends our theaters he will find privilege pretty well installed, as the managers can tell him to their sorrow. It has its drawbacks of course. For example, the desire for special honors leads some people who have money to spend to go to great effort to get newspaper credentials at such places. In one of our provincial cities you will see millionaires enjoying the play at the expense of a newspaper. In the Buffalo suburb of this metropolis of Philistia is a society leaderess who has been known to extort “passes” in exchange for society items and then go to the box office and have them exchanged so she “would not have to sit in newspaper seats.” This is the sordid side of privilege. I think it may surprise Li. * * * * * An eminent Pittsburg physician with a scientific bent has made the revelation that if you are a normal man you have one hundred and twenty-eight eye-winkers on one side and one hundred and thirty-two on the other; and that if you lose six from either side you have appendicitis. It was Balzac who discovered that any woman with two tiny black specks on the end of her nose was fond of amusement. Great is Science! * * * * * “A widow does not pay formal visits for one year after her bereavement,” according to Mrs. Isabel Wallon. This is almost an incitement to murder. It’s a wonder it wasn’t in the Chicago platform. * * * * * The kind of self-consciousness that calls itself propriety enters even the sanctuary of devotion. The _Betchersweetlife-I’m-a-Lady’s Home Journal_ reminds its devotees that “It is very improper to recognize an acquaintance during service in church.” Nothing is left to instinct in the Narcissean _Lady’s Own_. * * * * * Ruth Ashmore is authority that “Flowers may, with perfect propriety, be accepted from gentlemen.” There is no disputing this decision. Ruth knows the limit. * * * * * Corn is still eaten from the cob. Cobs are indigestible. * * * * * They refer me to the mortality rates to prove the healthfulness of the city of London. They say that coal smoke is only carbon and as such is nourishing rather than otherwise. But I submit that a London cupid is smirched by more than soot alone. * * * * *