The Philosopher's JokeJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Philosophy
The Philosopher's Joke
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Fiction; Short stories
"I am glad to hear somebody else say that," observed Mrs. Everett, in
her gentle, sympathetic voice. "I have thought it all myself so often.
Sometimes I have blamed myself, yet how can one help it: the things that
appeared of importance to us, they become indifferent; new voices call
to us; the idols we once worshipped, we see their feet of clay."
"If under the head of idols you include me," laughed the jovial Mr.
Everett, "don't hesitate to say so." He was a large red-faced gentleman,
with small twinkling eyes, and a mouth both strong and sensuous. "I
didn't make my feet myself. I never asked anybody to take me for a
stained-glass saint. It is not I who have changed."
"I know, dear, it is I," his thin wife answered with a meek smile. "I
was beautiful, there was no doubt about it, when you married me."
"You were, my dear," agreed her husband: "As a girl few could hold a
candle to you."
"It was the only thing about me that you valued, my beauty," continued
his wife; "and it went so quickly. I feel sometimes as if I had swindled
you."
"But there is a beauty of the mind, of the soul," remarked the Rev.
Nathaniel Armitage, "that to some men is more attractive than mere
physical perfection."
The soft eyes of the faded lady shone for a moment with the light of
pleasure. "I am afraid Dick is not of that number," she sighed.
"Well, as I said just now about my feet," answered her husband genially,
"I didn't make myself. I always have been a slave to beauty and always
shall be. There would be no sense in pretending among chums that you
haven't lost your looks, old girl." He laid his fine hand with kindly
intent upon her bony shoulder. "But there is no call for you to fret
yourself as if you had done it on purpose. No one but a lover imagines a
woman growing more beautiful as she grows older."
"Some women would seem to," answered his wife.
Involuntarily she glanced to where Mrs. Camelford sat with elbows
resting on the table; and involuntarily also the small twinkling eyes of
her husband followed in the same direction. There is a type that reaches
its prime in middle age. Mrs. Camelford, _nee_ Jessica Dearwood, at
twenty had been an uncanny-looking creature, the only thing about her
appealing to general masculine taste having been her magnificent eyes,
and even these had frightened more than they had allured. At forty, Mrs.
Camelford might have posed for the entire Juno.
"Yes, he's a cunning old joker is Time," murmured Mr. Everett, almost
inaudibly.
"What ought to have happened," said Mrs. Armitage, while with deft
fingers rolling herself a cigarette, "was for you and Nellie to have
married."
Mrs. Everett's pale face flushed scarlet.
"My dear," exclaimed the shocked Nathaniel Armitage, flushing likewise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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