The philosophy of Jake Haiden (late Jacob K. Huff) : $b selected from the columns of the Reading Times, Reading, Pennsylvania : with a biographical appreciation by his friend Henry W. ShoemakerHuff, Jacob K.
Philosophy
The philosophy of Jake Haiden (late Jacob K. Huff) : $b selected from the columns of the Reading Times, Reading, Pennsylvania : with a biographical appreciation by his friend Henry W. Shoemaker
Huff, Jacob K.
American essays; Huff, Jacob K., 1851-1910
And then, after giving the old man a cool sip of water, and fixing his
pillow more comfortable, he sat down and wrote the anecdote that was to
complete his sketch.
“Timothy McGrabber always kept a private jug in his cellar, but was only
allowed two jiggers of whiskey a day. If detected in taking a third or
fourth drink, by his good old wife, she proceeded at once to pull his
gray hair vigorously until he would promise to do so no more.
“One Sunday morning in mid-summer the good old wife went to church
very early, leaving Tim to follow when ready to do so. This was Tim’s
opportunity, so instead of two jiggers from the beloved jug, he took
four—four big ones, and then followed the old lady to the church, singing
softly and gleefully to himself as he walked cheerfully along.
“Arrived at church he sat down near the open window, and his system
cleared of waste material and a painful conscience, he soon dropped
off to sleep. A young kitten climbed in the window, took an exploring
expedition out along the back of the seat, climbed up Tim’s passive arm
and began to smell his whiskers. Scenting nothing dangerous, the kitty
jumped to the top of his bald head and sat down to observe the house.
“A wasp flew by, and kitty attempted to catch it, lost her equilibrium
and was falling backwards when she grabbed at Tim’s straggling locks of
hair with both front feet and began to climb back to her lofty perch
again; then the congregation was startled by Tim’s loud expostulations:
“‘Hey, Nora! that’s anuff! Pon me sowl oi only tuck four little nips from
th’ joog, and bedad yee’r pulling all th’ hair out av me head! And how
the divil did yee’s foind it out, anyhow, because oi wint down cellar in
th’ dark and drank wid me oyes shut!’”
The author smiled at the bit of humor, and turned to the bed with a sigh
of relief—only to discover that the old man had died while he wrote.
THE PINE CREEK TRAGEDY
Love in a lumber camp is as full of romance as love in a king’s court;
for wherever love sets up her throne the world must bow down and
recognize the Queen of Hearts. Jack Cleveland had been Rhoda Carson’s
accepted lover ever since she came to be cook’s assistant in the big camp
run by Reuben Harris, and this was her second winter in the camp. They
expected to get married when they went back to civilization in the spring.
In January Walter Jackson, of Maine, came to work on the job, and Rhoda
was fairly hypnotized by his manly beauty and robust health. Before the
first week was out Jack saw how things were going, but still hoped Rhoda
would get over her infatuation and come back to her old love. But Rhoda
quarreled with Jack deliberately and after due meditation. She even
insinuated that she would be happier if he left the job.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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