The Physiology of Marriage, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
The Physiology of Marriage, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage -- Humor
He amused himself with this little axiom and passed a whole week in
delight, grouping around this harmless epigram the crowd of ideas which
came to him unconsciously and which he was astonished to find that he
possessed. His humorous mood yielded at last to the claims of serious
investigation. Willing as he was to take a hint, the author returned to
his habitual idleness. Nevertheless, this slight germ of science and
of joke grew to perfection, unfostered, in the fields of thought. Each
phase of the work which had been condemned by others took root and
gathered strength, surviving like the slight branch of a tree which,
flung upon the sand by a winter’s storm, finds itself covered at morning
with white and fantastic icicles, produced by the caprices of nightly
frosts. So the sketch lived on and became the starting point of myriad
branching moralizations. It was like a polypus which multiplies itself
by generation. The feelings of youth, the observations which a favorable
opportunity led him to make, were verified in the most trifling events
of his after life. Soon this mass of ideas became harmonized, took life,
seemed, as it were, to become a living individual and moved in the midst
of those domains of fancy, where the soul loves to give full rein to its
wild creations. Amid all the distractions of the world and of life, the
author always heard a voice ringing in his ears and mockingly revealing
the secrets of things at the very moment he was watching a woman as she
danced, smiled, or talked. Just as Mephistopheles pointed out to Faust
in that terrific assemblage at the Brocken, faces full of frightful
augury, so the author was conscious in the midst of the ball of a demon
who would strike him on the shoulder with a familiar air and say to him:
“Do you notice that enchanting smile? It is a grin of hatred.” And then
the demon would strut about like one of the captains in the old comedies
of Hardy. He would twitch the folds of a lace mantle and endeavor to
make new the fretted tinsel and spangles of its former glory. And then
like Rabelais he would burst into loud and unrestrainable laughter, and
would trace on the street-wall a word which might serve as a pendant
to the “Drink!” which was the only oracle obtainable from the heavenly
bottle. This literary Trilby would often appear seated on piles of
books, and with hooked fingers would point out with a grin of malice
two yellow volumes whose title dazzled the eyes. Then when he saw he had
attracted the author’s attention he spelt out, in a voice alluring as
the tones of an harmonica, _Physiology of Marriage_! But, almost always
he appeared at night during my dreams, gentle as some fairy guardian;
he tried by words of sweetness to subdue the soul which he would
appropriate to himself. While he attracted, he also scoffed at me;
supple as a woman’s mind, cruel as a tiger, his friendliness was more
formidable than his hatred, for he never yielded a caress without also
inflicting a wound.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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