“You see his head, his face?”
“The shadow’s? You speak as if _you_ saw it, and all the time your eyes
are on your work.”
“Tray looks at you,” still without glancing up; “this is his hour; I
see him.”
“Have you then, so long sat at this mountain-window, where but clouds
and, vapors pass, that, to you, shadows are as things, though you speak
of them as of phantoms; that, by familiar knowledge, working like a
second sight, you can, without looking for them, tell just where they
are, though, as having mice-like feet, they creep about, and come and
go; that, to you, these lifeless shadows are as living friends, who,
though out of sight, are not out of mind, even in their faces—is it
so?”
“That way I never thought of it. But the friendliest one, that used to
soothe my weariness so much, coolly quivering on the ferns, it was
taken from me, never to return, as Tray did just now. The shadow of a
birch. The tree was struck by lightning, and brother cut it up. You saw
the cross-pile out-doors—the buried root lies under it; but not the
shadow. That is flown, and never will come back, nor ever anywhere stir
again.”
Another cloud here stole along, once more blotting out the dog, and
blackening all the mountain; while the stillness was so still, deafness
might have forgot itself, or else believed that noiseless shadow spoke.
“Birds, Marianna, singing-birds, I hear none; I hear nothing. Boys and
bob-o-links, do they never come a-berrying up here?”
“Birds, I seldom hear; boys, never. The berries mostly ripe and
fall—few, but me, the wiser.”
“But yellow-birds showed me the way—part way, at least.”
“And then flew back. I guess they play about the mountain-side, but
don’t make the top their home. And no doubt you think that, living so
lonesome here, knowing nothing, hearing nothing—little, at least, but
sound of thunder and the fall of trees—never reading, seldom speaking,
yet ever wakeful, this is what gives me my strange thoughts—for so you
call them—this weariness and wakefulness together Brother, who stands
and works in open air, would I could rest like him; but mine is mostly
but dull woman’s work—sitting, sitting, restless sitting.”
“But, do you not go walk at times? These woods are wide.”
“And lonesome; lonesome, because so wide. Sometimes, ’tis true, of
afternoons, I go a little way; but soon come back again. Better feel
lone by hearth, than rock. The shadows hereabouts I know—those in the
woods are strangers.”
“But the night?”
“Just like the day. Thinking, thinking—a wheel I cannot stop; pure want
of sleep it is that turns it.”
“I have heard that, for this wakeful weariness, to say one’s prayers,
and then lay one’s head upon a fresh hop pillow—”
“Look!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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