French fiction -- 20th century -- Translations into English
"Poor little one," said Madame Dehan, who had but one eye, no waistline,
a moustache, and limped. "After confinement women are just like crushed
snail-shells. After confinement women are simply prey to disease (look
at me!) an egg-shell full of all sorts of rubbish, incantations and
other witch-spells. Ah! Ah! You have done very well."
"All foolishness," said Macarée. "The duty of women is to have
children, and I am sure that their health is generally improved thereby,
both physically and morally."
"Where are you sick?" asked Mademoiselle Baba.
"Shut up! I say," exclaimed Madame Dehan. "Better go and look for my
flask of Spa elixir and bring some little glasses."
Mademoiselle Baba brought the elixir. They drank of it.
"I feel better now," said Madame Dehan, "After so much emotion, I need
to refresh myself."
She poured out another little glass of the elixir for herself, drank it
and licked the last few drops up with her tongue.
"Think of it," she said finally, "think of it, Madame Macarée ... I
swear by all that I hold sacred, Mademoiselle Baba can be my witness,
this is the first time that such a thing has happened to one of my
tenants. And how many I have had! My Lord! Louise Bernier, whom they
nicknamed Wrinkle, because she was so skinny; Marcelle la Carabinière
(the freshest thing you ever saw!); Josuette, who died of a sunstroke in
Christiania, the sun wishing thus to have his revenge of Joshua; Lili de
Mercœur, a grand name, mind you, (not hers of course) and then vile
enough for a chic woman, as Mercœur put it: 'You must pronounce it
Mercure,' screwing up her mouth like a chicken's hole. Well she got
hers, all right, they filled her as full of mercury as a thermometer.
She would ask me in the morning; What sort of weather do you think we'll
have today?' But I would always answer: 'You ought to know better than
I...' Never, never in the world would any of those have become enceinte
in my house."
"Oh well, it isn't as bad as that," said Macarée, "I also never had it
happen to me before. Give me some advice, but make it short."
At this moment she arose.
"Oh!" cried Madame Dehan, "what a well-shaped behind you have! how
sweet! how white! what embonpoint! Baba, Madame Macarée is going to put
on her dressing-gown. Serve coffee and bring the bilberry tart."
Macarée put on a chemise and then a dressing gown whose belt was made
of a Scotch shawl.
Mademoiselle Baba came back; she brought a big platter with cups, a
coffee pot, milk-pitcher, jar of honey, butter cakes and the bilberry
tart.
"If you want some good advice," said Madame Dehan, wiping away with the
back of her hand the coffee that dribbled down her chin, "You had better
go and baptize your child."
"I shall make sure and do that," said Macarée.
"And I even think," said Mademoiselle Baba, "that it would be best to do
it on the day he is born."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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