HUMPHRY. [_Bellowing out._] You ill-looking, lousy, beard-combing, head-shaving rascal! Did you ever know any body for to have a beard upon their hand? TOUPEE. You be von big 'merican brute, sur mon âme! HUMPHRY. You lie, as the saying is. What a mouth he makes whenever he goes for to talk his gibberage!--He screws it up for all the world like a pickled oyster. I must have a care I don't get some of that snuff out of his nose. TOUPEE. You please for taste de snuff? HUMPHRY. I don't care if I _smell_ some. [_Takes a pinch of snuff, which makes him sneeze, while TOUPEE is shaving him; by which he gets his face cut._] TOUPEE. Prenez garde à vous! HUMPHRY. The devil take the snuff and you! [_Going._ TOUPEE. S'il vous plaît, monsieur, you vill please for take de--de--vat is dat--de lettre--de shallange to monsieur de Schoolmastare, for fight me? HUMPHRY. Yes, that I will, with the most carefullest manner;--he shall have it in the greatest pleasure. [_TOUPEE gives a paper to HUMPHRY._ TOUPEE. Dat is de bon civility,--I vill be your--a--very good friend. HUMPHRY. Thank 'e kindly, Mounsieur. [_Exeunt, severally._ SCENE II. _A Street._ _Enter YOUNG LOVEYET and HUMPHRY._ LOVEYET. Not find where he lives? HUMPHRY. No;--you're the most unluckiest gentleman for making of blunders,--didn't you tell me how your father liv'd in number two hundred and fifty, in Queen-Street, in the three-story brick house? LOVEYET. I did; is not that the house? HUMPHRY. No--why, your father don't live there. LOVEYET. Did you enquire for Mr. Loveyet? HUMPHRY. Yes, I saw Mr. Loveyet. LOVEYET. The devil is in the fellow, I believe. Did you give him my letter? HUMPHRY. Yes, but I didn't want to. LOVEYET. Why not? HUMPHRY. Becase I wanted for to carry it to your father. LOVEYET. What makes you think Mr. Loveyet is not my father? HUMPHRY. Somebody told me so that's got a good right to know; I've his own words for it. LOVEYET. My father tell you so? HUMPHRY. The young man is crazy, I believe.--I say Mr. Loveyet said you wasn't his son; so I suppose he can't be your father by that. LOVEYET. I forgot that the letter would probably produce this misunderstanding. [_Aside._]--He is the only one I know, whom I have a right to call my father. HUMPHRY. May be you're the old fellow's bastard, and if you're a bastard, you can't be a son, you know: aye, that's the catch, I suppose. LOVEYET. Your new clothes make you quite smart, Mr. Cubb. HUMPHRY. Yes, don't I look quite smart, with these here new clothes? they're all new, I'll insure you--only a little the worse for wear; I bought 'em at the vandue option, at the Fly-Market. LOVEYET. But how came you by that patch on one side of your face, and that large crop of beard on the other? HUMPHRY. Mounsieur, the outlandish barber, give me a small cut across the whiskers; but the best of all you ha'n't seen yet;--see here.