TRUEMAN. Let us coolly enquire into this enigmatical affair, Mr. Loveyet. [_Breaks open the note, and reads._] What is all this?--Booby--blockhead-- satisfaction--challenge--courage--honour--gentleman--honour'd per Monsieur Cubb. HUMPHRY. Aye, that's I. TRUEMAN. And pray, Mr. Cubb, who gave you this pretty epistle? HUMPHRY. Why, mounsieur, the barber. TRUEMAN. By the dignity of my profession, it must be so:--Now there's a solution to the enigma.--Mr. Loveyet, you will excuse my mistaking this business so much;--the paltry Frisieur never enter'd my head;--you recollect I gave him a little flagellation this morning. LOVEYET. Yes, and I recollect the occasion too;--this confounded upstart Constitution (that cause of all my crosses and troubles) is at the bottom of every mischief. TRUEMAN. Yes, your wou'd-be Constitution, has indeed done a deal of mischief. LOVEYET. I deny it;--it is perfectly inoffensive and mild. TRUEMAN. Mild, indeed:--happy would it be for America, if her government was more coercive and energetic!--I suppose you have heard that Massachusetts has ratified this upstart Constitution;--this is the sixth grand column in the federal edifice; we only want three more to make up the lucky nine; and then the nine Muses will make our western world their permanent abode; and _he_ who is at once their Favourite and Patron, will preside over the whole: then we shall see another Golden Age; arts will then flourish, and literature be properly encouraged. That's the grand _desideratum_ of _my_ wishes. LOVEYET. A fig for your Latin and your literature!--That's the way your unconstitutional Constitutionalists take the advantage of our weak side, and-- TRUEMAN. And the said weak side being easily discovered, as you have but one side,--go on, sir. LOVEYET. And cram their unconstitutional bolus down our throats, with Latin;--you and your vile junto of perfidious politicians want to _Latin_ us out of our liberties. HUMPHRY. Well, why don't they take the law of the pollikitchens then, eigh? TRUEMAN. Mr. Loveyet, I never knew a man of your age and wisdom-- LOVEYET. Age, sir!--Wisdom!--Yes, wisdom, sir.--Age again, eigh? Ugh, ugh. TRUEMAN. Was there ever such preposterous behaviour!--You are getting as crazy as your favorite Constitution. LOVEYET. You are crazier than either, you old blockhead, or you would not make such a crazy speech: I say my constitution is a thousand per cent. better than yours. Ugh, ugh, ugh. TRUEMAN. A pretty figure for a good constitution! What a striking instance of health, youth, and beauty! How emblematically grotesque! The very image of deformity and infirmity! A perfect mirror for Milton's description of Sin and Death.