The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four ActsSinclair, Upton
General
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts
Sinclair, Upton
Comedy plays
_Jessie (rushing to him)._ Jack, I can't let you go!
_Jack._ Don't touch me, Jessie. You'll ruin your dress.
_Bob._ Let her kiss you, Jack. She'll be the last girl that offers
for some time.
_Jack (to Jessie)._ Be sensible, dear. I won't let any harm come to
me.
_Bob._ Get one of the fast freights, Jack.
_Jack._ No freights in mine--New York will do. There's some money
still lying around in this old town, I've an idea.
_Dad (sarcastically)._ He'll be king of the shoe-string
peddlers--the walking delegate of the Hobos' Union!
_Jack._ You may laugh, Dad, but I know I'm not such a fool as I
seem. Maybe it'll take me more than six months, but I think I can
convince you in the end that I can make my way.
_Dad._ Maybe you'll not want the quarter of a million at all!
_Jack._ Oh, an extra quarter of a million would always come in
handy. But we'll settle that when I return, Dad. For the present,
I've got the world to conquer.
_Bob._ Bow down, world!
_Jack._ What I say is: Come on, world! _(with a gesture of
defiance)_ I'm ready for you! I'll show you what I can do. Good-bye!
_(exit suddenly Left)_
_Jessie._ Jack! Jack! Oh, how perfectly terrible! This cold night,
and no money! What will he do?
_Bob._ There's many another man out there with no money. What do
_they_ do?
_Jessie._ Bob, I _hate_ you!
_Dad._ It'll be the very thing for the young scapegrace--if he'll
stick to it.
_Jessie._ But how will he live, Dad?
_Dad._ Live? Wasn't I a poor boy when I came to the city? And didn't
I manage to make a fortune? Let him do what I did!
_Jessie._ But you were used to hardships, Dad!
_Dad._ Used to it? Of course I was--and why shouldn't _he_ be? Why
is he too good to work like other men?
_Jessie (pleading)_ Oh, Dad--_(Sudden loud sounds in Real-play,
Right; piano and voices shouting chorus of the latest rag-time.
Play-play fades instantly.)_
_Will._ Hell and damnation! There go the devils with their
coon-songs! _(leaps up with distracted gestures)_ Oh! Oh! Oh!
_Peggy (laughing, runs to window--and tries to close it; sounds
continue)._
_Will._ The monsters! The fiends! The satellites of Satan!
_Peggy. (laughing)._ The window's stuck! Come put it down, dear.
_Will._ The window's always stuck when that mad-house opens up!
_Bill (waking)._ Ah----
_Will._ What's that?
_Peggy._ It's Bill waking _(runs to him)._
_Bill (sitting up)._ Oh!
_Peggy._ They woke you up, dear!
_Bill._ I'm glad of it!
_Will._ Hello! Bill!
_Bill._ Oh, hello! You got back, did you!
_Will._ Yes.
_Bill._ Say, Will, listen to the music!
_Will._ I hear it.
_Bill (delightedly)._ Gee! That's great, ain't it?
_Will._ You like it?
_Bill._ You bet I like it! Say, I know that tune! The beggar-kid sings
it every time he comes. _(Sits up in bed and keeps time with his
finger. Chorus begins and he joins in at the top of his voice.)_
CURTAIN
ACT II.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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