The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four ActsSinclair, Upton
General
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts
Sinclair, Upton
Comedy plays
_Scene: The attic, afternoon of the next day. The set of the
Playplay is a cheap Third Avenue restaurant. Entrance from the
street Center, also window with cashier's desk beside it. Tables up
stage, from Right to Left. Entrance to kitchen Left. Clock on wall
shows 11:30._
_At rise: The Real-play, with Bill Right on the fire-escape, sitting
on mattress taken from his cot. Will Left with Mss. at desk. Peggy
talking to Bill. She wears a "bungalow-apron," covering a waitress's
costume for quick change._
_Peggy_. That's a dandy big fire-escape to play on!
_Bill_. You bet!
_Peggy_. You've got all your blocks?
_Bill_. Yes, Peggy.
_Peggy_. And your picture-books?
_Bill_. Yes, Peggy.
_Peggy_. And you won't lean over the railing?
_Bill_. I won't.
_Peggy_ (_to Will_). Now to the Pot-boiler!
_Will_. It's a shame to keep the child out there on the fire-escape.
_Peggy_. He'll be all right, dear. It's the coolest place there is.
_Will_. If only we could get him to the park--
_Peggy_. I know, but we can't. (_Sits at table._) Now--you've got
the second act already?
_Will_. Yes. Read it, and I'll get the dishes washed for you. (_Exit
left_.)
_Peggy_ (_reads manuscript_). What's this? You've got a
drop-curtain?
_Will_ (_off; rattling dishes_). Yes; I want to show Jack's
adventures. Read the directions.
_Peggy_ (_reads_). Jack has been hunting a job, and has been unable
to find one. The drop-curtain shows a street-scene. (_The Play-play
begins to loom, as described._) A row of houses, just off Fifth
Avenue, having the front door on the street level in the modern
fashion. It is evening, and the ground is covered with snow. The
snow-shoveller is at work Right. His feet and hands are tied with
rags and his face is red with cold. (_The Play-play in full light._)
_Jack_ (_enters Left in hobo-overcoat, shuffling, and dejected_). I
beg your pardon--
_Shoveller_. Hey?
_Jack_. I beg your pardon--
_Shoveller_. What the devil ye beggin' me pardon for?
_Jack_. I--I want to know--is that your shovel?
_Shoveller_. Whose d'ye think it is?
_Jack_. I mean--where did you get it?
_Shoveller_ (_bridling_). You mean I stole it?
_Jack_. No--no! I mean, I'd like to get one. (_The other pays no
heed._) You see, I'm up against it, and I thought perhaps I could
earn money shovelling snow. I'd like to get a shovel. (_The other
still pays no heed._) You wouldn't like to rent it for a while,
would you?
_Shoveller_ (_with mock merriment_). And me live on me income, hey?
_Jack._ I might help you, perhaps--
_Shoveller_. Say, young fellow, if you really want to help me, get a
hot water bottle an' hold it to me feet!
_Jack (stands nonplussed, then turns away Left; as he is about to
exit he changes his mind, and rings the bell at the door of a house
Left. Butler comes_) I beg pardon--
_Butler_. Well, what d'ya want?
_Jack_. Could I shovel the snow off your sidewalk?
_Butler_ (_fiercely_). What d'ye mean by comin' to the front door?
_Jack_. Oh, I forgot.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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