The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts — John Shaqi
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four ActsSinclair, Upton
General
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts
Sinclair, Upton
Comedy plays
_Jack (enters Left)._ Gee, I never thought it would be as bad as
this! _(goes to window of restaurant)_ I've got to get something to
eat--there's no use talking about it! I don't believe that kid is
coming back! I don't believe he could help me, anyway! _(wanders
back and forth again, goes to door, hesitates)_ I want something to
_eat!_ I don't care what happens, I can't stand it! _(enters door of
restaurant)._
_Bill (pokes head in from fire-escape)._ Say, Peggy! (_Play-play
fades._)
_Peggy (appears in doorway, Left, having Mss. in her hand)._ Oh,
Bill! You startled me so!
_Bill._ What's the matter?
_Peggy._ I thought you, were out in the snow!
_Bill._ In the SNOW.
_Peggy._ Why, you see--
_Bill._ Snow in the middle of July?
_Peggy._ Why, you see, dear, Will is writing a play, and the play is
supposed to be in winter, and he's got you in the snow.
_Bill (in excitement). Me? Me_ in Will's play!
_Peggy._ Yes.
_Bill._ Oh, say! What's he doin' to me?
_Peggy._ I'll tell you all about it when he's finished.
_Bill._ Say! I got to see that play!
_Peggy._ Oh, surely!
_Bill (seriously)._ Suppose I don't like what he's done to me!
_Peggy (to Will, who appears Left, wiping a dish)._ Another critic,
Will! (_to Bill_) Now you must let us alone. Climb out, dear, and
don't disturb us again until we're done.
_Bill._ All right. I'll hold my breath (_climbs out_).
_Will._ Well, what do you think of it?
_Peggy._ Let's go on; I want to see more. (_They sit at the desk._)
_Will._ The next is the interior of the restaurant. You know just
how it looks--the one down our street. I've got to use two more
characters from real life. First, that big Irish policeman on our
beat. I must talk to him some more and make sure I've got his
dialect right.
_Peggy._ You never would have talked to him at all, if I hadn't put
you up to it!
_Will._ Then, there's the restaurant keeper. For him I took Schmidt,
our grocer.
_Peggy._ You _have_ to talk to Schmidt--because we can't pay his
bills!
_Will._ I see him sitting at the cashier's desk, reading a paper.
_(Interior of restaurant, with Schmidt.)_ It's nearly midnight, you
see, and there's only one customer. _(Full light on Play-play. Peggy
and Will make quick secret exit.)_
_Schmidt._ Vell, dis is vun bad night for business! _(Customer
grunts, having mouth full.)_ I tink ve have too much snow already
dis vinter! _(Customer grunts again.)_ You have some dessert, sir?
Vere is dot vaitress hey? _(Calls.)_ Hey, you! Belle!
_Belle (off Left)._ Yes, sir!
_Schmidt._ Vy you don't stay in de room by de customers? Hey?
_Belle (enters, evidently weak and ill, supports herself by the
chair)._ I--I was busy, sir.
_Schmidt._ Vell, you stay busy by de customers!
_Jack (enters from street, hesitating)._ I beg pardon--
_Schmidt._ Hey?
_Jack._ Can I get something to eat?
_Schmidt._ Vy not?
_Jack._ It's late.
_Schmidt._ Ve close by midnight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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