The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four ActsSinclair, Upton
General
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts
Sinclair, Upton
Comedy plays
_Jack. (hesitates again, looks at clock, then goes to table. Belle
brings napkin, etc., mechanically. He looks at card)._ I'll have a
beef-stew. _(Hesitates.)_ I think I'll have a double order.
_Belle._ Yes, sir.
_Jack._ And a cup of coffee.
_Belle._ Yes, sir. _(Goes Left feebly. Customer rises, pays check
and exit. Belle brings order, and Jack begins to eat voraciously.
Suddenly Belle staggers and catches at a chair. He starts.)_
_Jack._ Why, you're ill!
_Belle (faintly)._ No, sir! No!
_Jack._ But you are!
_Belle (gazing in terror at Schmidt, who is reading)._ Ssh! Mr.
Schmidt will hear you.
_Jack (hesitates, then begins to eat again, but keeping an eye on
Belle, who makes desperate efforts to keep steady)._
_Schmidt (looks up from paper, gazes through window and rises)._ Vat
for a night for business! _(Goes Left, yawning; exit.)_
_Jack (still eating rapidly)._ You _have_ to work?
_Belle_. Of course!
_Jack_. Have you no friends--no people?
_Belle_ (_hesitates_). I'm not supposed to talk to customers.
_Jack_. But I'm asking you questions.
_Belle_ (_gazing nervously Left_). Yes, but I mustn't talk. (_She
clutches chair_.)
_Jack_ (_springs up_). My God, you're done up. Sit down.
_Belle_ (_in terror_). No, no, no! He'll hear you! He'd not keep me
if he thought I was sick.
_Jack_. Damn his soul! Have you no one to take care of you?
_Belle_. I have a sister, sir. But she can't earn enough for two.
Please let me be.
_Jack_. Poor little girl!
_Belle_. I'll be all right. It's near closing time. I'm
tired--that's all.
_Jack_. What time do you come on?
_Belle_. At ten o'clock, sir.
_Jack_. What, in the morning?
_Belle_. Yes.
_Jack_. Fourteen hours! And you have to stand up?
_Belle_. Of course.
_Jack_. The whole time?
_Belle_. Oh, no! I have time for two meals.
_Jack_. And that's all?
_Belle_. It's the same everywhere, sir. They don't like you to sit
down. It wouldn't look right. (_Seeing Schmidt entering Left_). Will
you have some dessert, sir?
_Jack_. No, not yet. (_He finishes food, then turns to Schmidt,
hesitatingly_.) See here, my friend.
_Belle_ (_in terror_). No, no!
_Jack_ (_waving her aside_). I'm sorry, my friend, but I'm afraid
you'll have to have me arrested.
_Schmidt_. Hey? Vot?
_Jack_. You'll have to have me arrested.
_Schmidt_. Vot you mean?
_Jack_. I mean--I've eaten a meal and I haven't any money to pay for
it.
_Schmidt_. No money!
_Jack_. Not a cent.
_Schmidt_. Aber--vy--how you dare?
_Jack_. I was starving. I have walked the streets for two days
begging for work, and I can't find any. I am wet, chilled to the
bone, exhausted. Look at me----
_Schmidt_ (_in excitement_). Vot I got to do mit your looks?
_Jack_. I had to have something to eat.
_Schmidt_. But vy should _I_ feed you? Vy you come by _me_?
_Jack_. I'll work for you, if I may.
_Schmidt_. Vork? I don't vant no vork! I got all the vork as I need.
I vant customers!
_Jack._ You'll have to have me arrested, then.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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