The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four ActsSinclair, Upton
General
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts
Sinclair, Upton
Comedy plays
She ought to be sent away somewhere--the city is no place for one in
her condition. _(Belle leans Her head against the table.)_ There!
There! _(Pats her on the arm.)_ Why, she's as thin as a rail! How
could you work a girl so?
_Schmidt._ Who is to do her work?
_Jack._ I'll do it myself--
_Schmidt._ You?
_Jack._ Of course. Why can't I do it? Why can't I do it right along?
_Schmidt._ Vot? Take her place?
_Jack._ Certainly. Let her go home and stay.
_Belle._ No, no! I can't give up.
_Jack._ It won't be giving up. It'll be resting. I'll bring you the
money--I can pay you back that way.
_Belle._ But how will you live?
_Jack._ I don't know. I'll make out. He'll feed me. _(To Schmidt.)_
You give me a chance. I'll show you what I can do. Here _(takes
Belle's apron and puts it on)._ Now, then--bring on your customers!
I've been a waiter all my life!
_Belle._ I can't let you.
_Jack._ You go and rest. I'll help you home when we close _(starts
leading her Left)._
_Belle._ My sister comes for me.
_Jack._ All right. But you have a rest meantime _(exit with Belle)._
_Schmidt._ Humph! You don't vait to hear vot I say! _(he paces up
and down in anger)._ Vot you tink of dot for nerve, hey? He comes by
mine place und he hires himself to vork for me, und he don't ask if
I vant him! Vell, I feed him vot I feed a girl. I don't feed him no
double orders! _(shakes his fist at exit Left)_ No sir! I feed you
on single orders, und if you vant double orders, you go by
Schnitzelman on der next block! I make no money in der restaurant
business, I got to pay more vages for my cook, und den she don't
stay! Und I got to pay more for food, und it ain't so good as it
vas, und mine customers find it out und dey don't come back to me!
You get no double orders by me, you hear me, sir? _(exit Left,
storming) (suddenly the bell rings in the Real-play Left. Play-play
vanishes.)_
_Will (starting)._ What's that?
_Bill (leaping in at window)._ Somebody's at the door!
_Peggy (starts to door Left)._ I'll see.
_Bill (running past her)._ Let me see! _(opens door)_ Oh, it's Mr.
Schmidt!
_Peggy._ Mr. _Schmidt?_
_Bill._ Our grocer.
_Schmidt (appears in doorway of Real-play, wearing same costume)._
Good afternoon, lady.
_Peggy._ Oh, Mr. Schmidt. Good afternoon, Mr. Schmidt.
_Schmidt._ I come to see ven you pay me dot bill, lady.
_Peggy._ I'm sorry, Mr. Schmidt, we haven't the money yet.
_Schmidt._ But you told me you haf dot money soon!
_Peggy._ I know--Mr. Schmidt--
_Schmidt._ I _got_ to haf dot money, lady!
_Will._ Can't you see I'm working as hard as I can?
_Schmidt._ I dunno vot you do for vorking. I dunno vy if you vork
you don't haf money to pay your grocer bills.
_Will._ Well, I know about my work better than you, I guess!--
_Peggy._ Now, Will--be quiet. Listen, Mr. Schmidt--we've had hard
luck the last few days, but we're honest people, and we won't cheat
you out of your money.
_Schmidt._ You don't come by my place for some days, now, hey?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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