The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts — John Shaqi
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four ActsSinclair, Upton
General
The Pot Boiler: A Comedy in Four Acts
Sinclair, Upton
Comedy plays
_Dolly._ It's all right, Jack--since's we've caught on in time.
_Jack._ No, no, don't misunderstand me. It was just that I didn't
want to tell my family just yet.
_Dad (starting forward)._ Why, you infernal jackass!
_Jack._ Dad--
_Dad._ You have the impudence to come here and tell me that you
promised to marry a waitress in a restaurant!
_Jack._ Yes, Dad---
_Dad (raging)._ Are you mad? When you've just proven that you can't
earn enough to fill your own belly? You come here whining for
forgiveness, and then tell me you'll marry a girl of the streets--
_Jessie._ Dad! Stop!
_Dolly._ Excuse me, Jack--we'll get out of this. _(Rises.)_
_Jessie._ No--wait! Please, Dad--
_Dad._ Let her go! There's no place for her here.
_Dolly._ Come, Belle, _(Lifts her.)_
_Jessie (Hysterically)._ Dad, how can you be so cruel?
_Dad._ Keep out of this, Jessie.
_Jack._ If they go, I go too, Dad.
_Dad._ Go, and good riddance to you.
_Jack._ If I go, I'll never return.
_Dad._ Has anybody asked you to?
_Bob._ Wait a minute, Dad.
_Dad._ Let me alone, Bob. I'll attend to this.
_Jessie (rushing to Jack)._ Jack! Jack! Wait!
_Dolly._ Come on, Belle! This is no place for us!
_Jack._ I'll take her myself. _(Exits left with Belle)._
_Jessie._ Jack! Dad doesn't know what he's saying!
_Dad._ Who says I don't know what I'm saying? Who says I'm not
responsible for my own acts? Who says I have to be handled
carefully? I'll have you all understand--
_Jessie (clutching Dad)._ Don't you see the girl's nearly dead?
_Bill._ I'll get out too _(To Dad.)_ Say Mister--_(Dad stares at
him)._ You're worse'n my stepfather! _(Exit with Dolly)._
_Jessie (hysterically)._ Dad! Dad! I beg you--have mercy. _(Flings
herself sobing upon him)._
_Bob._ Really, Dad, you're treating him pretty badly!
_Dad._ I haven't asked your opinion, sir!
_Bob._ Well, I guess I'll go with him!
_Dad._ As you please, sir! _(Bob exit. The Play-play begins to
fade)._
_Will (in low voice)._ That's as far as I've done. _(A pause.)_ It's
near the end. What do you think of it?
_Pegyy._ Why, Will, you know what I told you before--
_Will (in a voice of despair)._ That it's all wrong! That I don't
know how to write a play. That I've got to do it all over!
_Peggy._ I never said that, Will. But I told you that you couldn't
put an audience through all those harrowing adventures, and then
pile an unhappy ending on top. You simply can't get away with such a
proposition.
_Will._ But surely, I can't have this play end happily!
_Peggy._ Where's the law to prevent you?
_Will._ The law of truth prevents me.
_Peggy._ What do you mean? Couldn't Dad forgive Jack?
_Will._ No!
_Peggy._ Why not?
_Will._ Because Dad hasn't forgiven me.
_Peggy._ But Will, there are plenty of other Dads--and they aren't
all so heartless. You'll simply have to choose another father for
this play. You can't write for your own satisfaction--you've got to
think about the box-office.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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