The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
The tone of the deputation was, from the first, querulous. The wizened
man had constituted himself spokesman. He introduced the party--the
walrus as Colonel Finch, the others as Herr von Mandelbaum and Mr.
Archer-Cleeve. His own name was Pugh, and the whole party, like the
other visitors whom they represented, had, it seemed, come to Mervo, at
great trouble and expense, to patronize the tables, only to find these
suddenly, without a word of warning, withdrawn from their patronage.
And what the deputation wished to know was, What did it all mean?
"We were amazed, sir--Your Highness," said Mr. Pugh. "We could not--we
cannot--understand it. The entire thing is a baffling mystery to us. We
asked the soldiers at the door. They referred us to Mr. Scobell. We
asked Mr. Scobell. He referred us to you. And now we have come, as the
representatives of our fellow visitors to this island, to ask Your
Highness what it means!"
"Have a cigar," said John, extending the box. Mr. Pugh waved aside the
preferred gift impatiently. Not so Herr von Mandelbaum, who slid
forward after the manner of one in quest of second base and retired
with his prize to the rear of the little army once more.
Mr. Archer-Cleeve, a young man with carefully parted fair hair and the
expression of a strayed sheep, contributed a remark.
"No, but I say, by Jove, you know, I mean really, you know, what?"
That was Mr. Archer-Cleeve upon the situation.
"We have not come here for cigars," said Mr. Pugh. "We have come here,
Your Highness, for an explanation."
"Of what?" said John.
Mr. Pugh made an impatient gesture.
"Do you question my right to rule this massive country as I think best,
Mr. Pugh?"
"It is a high-handed proceeding," said the wizened little man.
The walrus spoke for the first time.
"What say?" he murmured huskily.
"I said," repeated Mr. Pugh, raising his voice, "that it was a
high-handed proceeding, Colonel."
The walrus nodded heavily, in assent, with closed eyes.
"Yah," said Herr von Mandelbaum through the smoke.
John looked at the spokesman.
"You are from England, Mr. Pugh?"
"Yes, sir. I am a British citizen."
"Suppose some enterprising person began to run a gambling hell in
Piccadilly, would the authorities look on and smile?"
"That is an entirely different matter, sir. You are quibbling. In
England gambling is forbidden by law."
"So it is in Mervo, Mr. Pugh."
"Tchah!"
"What say?" said the walrus.
"I said 'Tchah!' Colonel."
"Why?" said the walrus.
"Because His Highness quibbled."
The walrus nodded approvingly.
"His Highness did nothing of the sort," said John. "Gambling is
forbidden in Mervo for the same reason that it is forbidden in England,
because it demoralizes the people."
"This is absurd, sir. Gambling has been permitted in Mervo for nearly a
year."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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