The Prince and BettyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Prince and Betty
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"If Comrade Maloney," he said, "is going to take to singing during
business hours, I fear this journal must put up its shutters.
Concentrated thought will be out of the question."
He moved to the door and flung it open as a second squeal rent the air,
and found Master Maloney writhing in the grip of a tough-looking person
in patched trousers and a stained sweater. His left ear was firmly
grasped between the stranger's finger and thumb.
The tough person released Pugsy, and, having eyed Smith keenly for a
moment, made a dash for the stairs, leaving the guardian of the gate
rubbing his ear resentfully.
"He blows in," said Master Maloney, aggrieved, "an' asks is de editor
in. I tells him no, an' he nips me by the ear when I tries to stop him
buttin' t'roo."
"Comrade Maloney," said Smith, "you are a martyr. What would Horatius
have done if somebody had nipped him by the ear when he was holding the
bridge? It might have made all the difference. Did the gentleman state
his business?"
"Nope. Just tried to butt t'roo."
"One of these strong, silent men. The world is full of us. These are
the perils of the journalistic life. You will be safer and happier when
you are a cowboy, Comrade Maloney."
Smith was thoughtful as he returned to the inner room.
"Things are warming up, John," he said. "The sport who has just left
evidently came just to get a sight of me. Otherwise, why should he tear
himself away without stopping for a chat. I suppose he was sent to mark
me down for whichever gang Comrade Parker is employing."
"What do you mean?" said John. "All this gets past me. Who is Parker?"
Smith related the events leading up to Mr. Parker's visit, and
described what had happened on that occasion.
"So, before you throw in your lot with this journal," he concluded, "it
would be well to think the matter over. You must weigh the pros and
cons. Is your passion for literature such that you do not mind being
put out of business with a black-jack for the cause? Will the knowledge
that a low-browed gentleman is waiting round the corner for you
stimulate or hinder you in your work? There's no doubt now that we are
up against a tough crowd."
"By Jove!" said John. "I hadn't a notion it was like that."
"You feel, then, that on the whole--"
"I feel that on the whole this is just the business I've been hunting
for. You couldn't keep me out of it now with an ax."
Smith looked at him curiously, but refrained from enquiries. That there
must be something at the back of this craving for adventure and
excitement, he knew. The easy-going John he had known of old would
certainly not have deserted the danger zone, but he would not have
welcomed entry to it so keenly. It was plain that he was hungry for
work that would keep him from thought. Smith was eminently a patient
young man, and though the problem of what upheaval had happened to
change John to such an extent interested him greatly, he was prepared
to wait for explanations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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