The Private Papers of Henry RyecroftGissing, George
General
The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft
Gissing, George
English fiction -- 19th century
That reminds me of an incident. Near a hamlet, in a lonely spot by a
woodside, I came upon a little lad of perhaps ten years old, who, his
head hidden in his arms against a tree trunk, was crying bitterly. I
asked him what was the matter, and, after a little trouble--he was better
than a mere bumpkin--I learnt that, having been sent with sixpence to pay
a debt, he had lost the money. The poor little fellow was in a state of
mind which in a grave man would be called the anguish of despair; he must
have been crying for a long time; every muscle in his face quivered as if
under torture, his limbs shook; his eyes, his voice, uttered such misery
as only the vilest criminal should be made to suffer. And it was because
he had lost sixpence!
I could have shed tears with him--tears of pity and of rage at all this
spectacle implied. On a day of indescribable glory, when earth and
heaven shed benedictions upon the soul of man, a child, whose nature
would have bidden him rejoice as only childhood may, wept his heart out
because his hand had dropped a sixpenny piece! The loss was a very
serious one, and he knew it; he was less afraid to face his parents, than
overcome by misery at the thought of the harm he had done them. Sixpence
dropped by the wayside, and a whole family made wretched! What are the
due descriptive terms for a state of "civilization" in which such a thing
as this is possible?
I put my hand into my pocket, and wrought sixpennyworth of miracle.
It took me half an hour to recover my quiet mind. After all, it is as
idle to rage against man's fatuity as to hope that he will ever be less a
fool. For me, the great thing was my sixpenny miracle. Why, I have
known the day when it would have been beyond my power altogether, or else
would have cost me a meal. Wherefore, let me again be glad and thankful.
IV.
There was a time in my life when, if I had suddenly been set in the
position I now enjoy, conscience would have lain in ambush for me. What!
An income sufficient to support three or four working-class families--a
house all to myself--things beautiful wherever I turn--and absolutely
nothing to do for it all! I should have been hard put to it to defend
myself. In those days I was feelingly reminded, hour by hour, with what
a struggle the obscure multitudes manage to keep alive. Nobody knows
better than I do _quam parvo liceat producere vitam_. I have hungered in
the streets; I have laid my head in the poorest shelter; I know what it
is to feel the heart burn with wrath and envy of "the privileged
classes." Yes, but all that time I was one of "the privileged" myself,
and now I can accept a recognized standing among them without shadow of
self-reproach.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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