Humorous stories, English; Men -- Societies and clubs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
Lord Herngill had done very little better. He had attempted no
disguise at all. His idea had been, in the course of travel on the
Bakerloo Tube railway, to get into conversation with six different
people and to tell six plausible but erroneous stories about himself.
His statement that he personally had driven the first train that had
passed under the Thames in that tube, being in fact the consulting
engineer of the company, was received by an old lady with great
interest and not the slightest suspicion. He then changed into another
carriage and found an opportunity to tell a young curate that though
he lived within ten miles of London he had never been there in his
life before. He was only there then because he had to see property
that he had inherited at Swiss Cottage. And could the curate tell him
at all where Swiss Cottage was?
That question was his undoing. ‘I can not only tell you,’ said the
smiling curate, ‘but, as it happens, I am going there myself, and it
will give me much pleasure to have your company.’
And by the time that he had got rid of that curate it was hopeless to
attempt his remaining impersonations within the prescribed time. It
was generally felt that in a matter of impersonation Lord Herngill, on
his previous character, should have done better.
Mr Quillian had bestowed six shillings on six different
crossing-sweepers. Five of them had said, ‘Thank you, m’lord,’ and the
other had said, ‘Thank you, Captain.’ On this he claimed to have won,
as it was obvious that all five crossing-sweepers could not have
mistaken him for the same peer. It was pointed out to him by the
chairman that there was not the slightest evidence that any one of
those crossing-sweepers had made any mistake at all.
For once Pusely-Smythe had failed to compete, and said that he had
been too busy. It was suggested that his time had been taken up with
spending his winnings from the previous month. Mr Matthews also had
taken no part in the competition. The reason he gave was simple
cowardice; the ghastly breakdown of his attempt to impersonate an old
lady for the purposes of the Kiss Problem had spoiled his nerve for
anything of the kind in the future.
The disgraceful adventure of Feldane and Hesseltine seemed likely to
be the nearest approach to the problem-setter’s requirements, until
Sir Charles Bunford was called on for his experiences. Sir Charles
claimed to have won.
‘I came to the conclusion,’ said Sir Charles, ‘that the man who asks
for something or tries to sell something is likely to create an
atmosphere of suspicion. On the other hand the man who gives
something, even to a complete stranger, will have his explanatory
story accepted without question. The fact that he stands to lose by
the transaction is accepted as evidence of his genuineness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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