The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comediesRoberts, Morley
General
The promotion of the admiral, and other sea comedies
Roberts, Morley
English fiction -- 20th century; Sea stories, English; Short stories, English
And the admiral did not answer. He looked at Knight with a gloomy,
introspective eye.
"Mind your own business," he said, when the question was repeated.
And Knight hove a full pannikin of tea at him. This compliment was
received very quietly, and the admiral rose and went on deck.
"Takes water at once," said Knight; "he ain't got the pluck of a
mouse."
But the admiral went aft and interviewed Mr. Simpson.
"May I have the honour of speaking to you, sir?" he said, and Simpson
gasped a little, but said he might have that honour.
"Well, sir," said Sir Richard Dunn, "I don't know how I got here, but
here I am, and I'm willing to waive the question of my being a
British admiral, as I can't prove it."
"That's right," said Simpson. "Ah, I'll have you sane enough
by-and-by, my man."
The admiral nodded.
"But I wish to have your permission to knock the head off a man
called Knight for'ard. It was always my custom, sir, to allow fights
on board my own ship when I considered them necessary. But I always
insisted on my permission being asked. Have I yours, sir?"
Simpson looked the admiral up and down.
"Your ship, eh? You're still crazy, I'm afraid. But Knight can kill
you, my man."
"I'm willing to let him try, sir," said the admiral. "He hove a
pannikin of tea over me just now, and I think a thrashing would do
him good and conduce to the peace and order of the foc'sle."
"Oh, you think so," said Simpson. "Very well, you have my permission
to introduce peace there."
"I thank you, sir," said the admiral.
He touched his hat and went forward. He put his head inside the
foc'sle and addressed Knight:
"Come outside, you bully, and let me knock your head off. Mr.
Simpson has been kind enough to overlook the breach of discipline
involved."
And Knight, nothing loth, came out on deck, while Simpson and Wiggins
stood a little way off to enjoy the battle.
"I'd like to back the admiral," said Wiggins.
"I'll have a level five dollars on Knight," said Simpson, who
remembered that he had, on one occasion, found Knight extremely
difficult to reduce to pulp.
"Done with you," said Wiggins.
And in five minutes the second mate was richer by five dollars, as
his mates carried Knight into the foc'sle.
"I don't know when I enjoyed myself more," said Simpson, with a
sigh--"even if I do lose money on it. While it lasted it was real
good. Did you see that most be-ewtiful upper cut? And the
right-handed cross counter that finished it was jest superb. But
I'll hev to speak to the victor, so I will."
And he addressed the admiral in suitable language.
"Don't you think, because you've licked him, that you can fly any
flag when I'm around. You done it neat and complete, and I overlook
it, but half a look and the fust letter of a word of soss and I'll
massacre you myself. Do you savvy?"
And the admiral said:
"Yes, sir."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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