The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts — John Shaqi
The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
(_Nelly has risen, and they stand facing each other. Yielding to a
sudden impulse, she raises her face to his and their lips meet. Then
with a low cry she pushes him from her, and goes out._)
(_Enter Ted and Cherry._)
TED MORRIS.
Hulloa, Jack, old man, anything up?
JACK MEDBURY.
Yes, something rather important. I thought I'd just run down and see you
about it. (_Shaking hands with Cherry._) You're not looking too well,
Mr. Cherry.
ADAM CHERRY.
I'm a little worried, my dear boy--a little worried.
JACK MEDBURY.
Oh, I'm so sorry. Well, look here, I'll talk about this matter to Ted,
then. I won't trouble you with it.
ADAM CHERRY.
No, dear boy; no. If it's about anybody else's worries it will help me
to forget my own. What is it? Nothing wrong with you, I hope?
JACK MEDBURY.
No, it's about other people. (_Commencing to take paper from his
pocket._) Have you seen _The Illustrated Police News_ this week?
ADAM CHERRY.
(_Grasping what is coming._) Yes--I have. What do you know about it?
JACK MEDBURY.
Oh! Oh, nothing (_unfolding paper_), except that the portrait of the
gentleman in the centre picture--drawn by a chum of mine who happened to
be present, and sent to the paper for a joke--seems to me an excellent
likeness of your friend Mr. Ben Dixon. Who do you say it is? (_Hands
paper to Cherry._)
TED MORRIS.
(_Taking paper from Cherry._) Great Scott! it _must_ be Ben Dixon.
ADAM CHERRY.
Oh, it is. There's no question of doubt. Young Travers knows all about
the matter. It _is_ Mr. Ben Dixon.
JACK MEDBURY
Mrs. Wheedles says it isn't.
TED MORRIS.
Mrs. Wheedles? What does she know about it?
JACK MEDBURY.
She says she knows the party very well indeed, and that his name
is--Wheedles!
TED MORRIS
Wheedles!
JACK MEDBURY.
The long-lost Wheedles!
ADAM CHERRY.
Impossible!
JACK MEDBURY.
So I explained to her. I told her that he was an eminent philanthropist
and that his name was Ben Dixon. She said she didn't care what he was
or what he was called: his real name was Wheedles, he was her lawful
married husband, and if we would bring her face to face with him she
would precious soon prove it.
(A pause. The three men look at one another.)
ADAM CHERRY.
Well, from what I've found out to-day, I should say he was villain
enough for anything.
TED MORRIS.
And from what I've suspected for a pretty long time, I should say the
same.
JACK MEDBURY.
What are we to do? Mrs. Wheedles says she'll have the law on him.
TED MORRIS.
Why, do all we can as good citizens to assist Mrs. Wheedles and the law.
It will be a precious good thing for aunt to get rid of the old humbug.
ADAM CHERRY.
We must go to work cautiously you know, Ted, or we may only make matters
more unpleasant for your aunt than they are. Mrs. Wheedles may be
mistaken.
TED MORRIS.
I hope to goodness she isn't. I wonder how we can find out?
JACK MEDBURY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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