The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Oh, by-the-bye, she gave me this too (_produces photo and shows it_).
The last portrait of Wheedles--taken four years ago. (_Ted takes paper,
and compares photo with paper._) Should you say 'twas the same man?
TED MORRIS.
(_Examining_.) The whiskers make such a difference. Hadn't she got a
photo of him with some hair on his face?
JACK MEDBURY.
No. I asked her that. Wheedles seems to have always lived a clean-shaven
life.
TED MORRIS.
I wish we could get Ben Dixon to shave himself.
JACK MEDBURY.
Yes; that would be the thing.
ADAM CHERRY.
Yes; but it's no good talking about that. He's hardly likely to do
that to please us. No, this is a matter that we must go to work about
cautiously. Now, you come with me, Jack, and we will talk it over with
young Travers (_moving with Jack towards door_). You stop here, Ted.
We'd better not be all together. It will look as if something was
the matter and we must keep the thing quiet. (_Cherry and Jack go off
talking_.)
TED MORRIS.
(_Crosses, and sitting on the easy chair enjoying the paper._) By Jove!
Old Ben at the Aquarium--drunk and----
(_Ben Dixon is heard whistling "There is a happy land." Ted, hearing
him, pushes paper under cushion. Crosses to fire whistling "Get your
hair cut." Enter Ben Dixon._)
MR. BEN DIXON.
(_Looking about._) You haven't seen my spectacles anywhere, have you,
Ted?
TED MORRIS.
No, Mr. Ben Dixon. Did you leave them here?
MR. BEN DIXON.
Yes, I wish you'd look on the garden seat. I may have left them there.
Do you mind?
TED MORRIS.
Oh, certainly. (_Goes out through window. Ben Dixon hastily darts to
chair and, moving cushion, finds paper._)
MR. BEN DIXON.
(_Seizing it with a cry of joy_.) Ah! So it _was_ here all the time.
Theo must have slipped it there when he heard Bella coming. What a bit
of luck. They've none of them seen it. (_Looking at it_) Oh, it is like
me. If I could only disguise myself for a little while, till----
(_Re-enter Ted. Ben Dixon hides paper under his coat._)
TED MORRIS.
No, I can't see them.
MR. BEN DIXON.
Oh, it's all right, my dear boy. I've found them, thanks. They were in
my pocket all the time. So silly of me, wasn't it? (_Laughs, and goes
out, whistling._)
(_Enter Primrose by window._)
PRIMROSE DEANE.
(_Looking in_) Business over?
TED MORRIS.
For the present--could it stay for a moment when pleasure in the person
of Miss Deane presents herself? (_Bows._)
PRIMROSE DEANE.
(_Curtseying._) I thank you, fair sir. How very agreeable we've become
all of a sudden.
TED MORRIS.
"Become!" Ain't I always agreeable?
PRIMROSE DEANE.
No. Not when you talk about going away and never coming back, and say
you hope it will be a long while before you see any of us again.
TED MORRIS.
I--I don't think I said I "hoped" it would be a long while. I think I
said I _feared_ it might be.
PRIMROSE DEANE.
Oh, well, it's all the same. You needn't go away at all unless you
liked.
TED MORRIS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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