The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
(_Soothing her._) Don't take any notice of her, dearest; she's a little
excited, that's all.
MRS. WHEEDLES.
(_Clinging to him._) I feel so upset, Henery (_crying_).
MR. BEN DIXON.
Of course you do. You're not strong, Gertrude. We must take more care of
you. (_Puts his arm round her while slyly looking at his watch._)
MRS. WHEEDLES.
(_Looking up lovingly at him!_) You won't leave me again?
MR. BEN DIXON.
(_He hastily slips watch out of sight._) Leave you! Not now that I
have you once again. (_Squeezes her to him tenderly--then with joyful
playfulness._) And I'll tell you what we'll do, Gerty, to celebrate
this joyful reunion. We'll have one of our dear little old evenings
out together--do you remember them? The little dinner at the little
restaurant with the little bottle of wine, and the Adelphi afterwards.
(_Mrs. Wheedles answers with a look and a coy laugh._) Run and put your
bonnet on and we'll trot off together this very minute and get away from
them all.
MRS. WHEEDLES.
I must just change my dress, Henery.
MR. BEN DIXON.
Of course, of course you must, you long will it?
But it won't take
MRS. WHEEDLES.
Not more than ten minutes.
MR. BEN DIXON.
(_He edges her towards the door._) Ah, well, be as quick as you can,
dear. I'll wait down here for you.
MRS. WHEEDLES.
You--you _will_ wait, Henery?
MR. BEN DIXON.
(_Offended._) Gertrude!
MRS. WHEEDLES.
No--I didn't mean that, dear.
MR. BEN DIXON.
I know you didn't. I know you didn't (_pushing her playfully out._) And,
Gerty! (_she stops_) you haven't got the cherry coloured one still by
you?--the one you used to look so saucy in?
MRS. WHEEDLES.
(_At open door._) Yes, I have, Henery. I've never worn it since the day
you left me.
MR. BEN DIXON.
Put that one on, will you? Eh? (_They both laugh playfully and he pats
her cheek and she goes off--he watches her off then closes the door._)
Poor old soul! (_Looks at watch and collects his bag, umbrella, hat,
etc._) Now if that fool of a cab isn't gone I can just---- (_He has
his hat on and with his watch in his hand is opening door when--Enter
Cherry, who stands blocking his exit._)
Can't stop a minute, my dear Cherry; so sorry. Good-bye! (_Tries to
pass_.)
ADAM CHERRY.
(_Coming in and closing door._) Don't you say goodbye till you're clear
off. You've got to have a chat with me first.
MR. BEN DIXON.
My dear sir, I positively decline. I am not at all pleased with you;
I consider you have acted in a most unchristianlike manner. I am
disappointed in you, Mr. Cherry. More disappointed that I can say.
ADAM CHERRY.
Then don't say it. The less you say, the sooner you'll get off, and I
take it you want to get clear off before Mrs. Wheedles comes downstairs
again.
MR. BEN DIXON.
Mr. Cherry, I do. I frankly admit it. Mrs. Wheedles is an excellent
woman--a worthy woman, but--well, I put it to _you_, would _you_ like to
live with her--as a husband?
ADAM CHERRY.
Mr. Wheedles!
MR. BEN DIXON.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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