(_Sitting_.) Don't you? Oh, it's simple enough. My mother having accomplished the exceedingly satisfactory life's work of introducing me into the world, dies, poor lady. My father, feeling the sole responsibility of bringing up so extraordinary an infant as myself too much for him, marries a charming lady of whom I have always very much approved, a Miss Belinda Greggs, better known as Mdlle. Silvia, the beauteous and world-renowned skipping-rope artiste. This lady, upon the death of my father, marries your uncle. Thus Art becomes the golden link connecting the Morris to the Travers family. (_About to drink from one of the glasses._) Gin? TED MORRIS. No; an experiment. I don't fancy you'd care for it. (_Takes glasses away and puts them back in cupboard._) O yes, I recollect now. Mrs. Ben Dixon _was_ a Mrs. Travers, of course. (_Noticing that Theo is again writing on his cuff._) Your cuff is getting rather full, isn't it? Don't you carry a note-book? THEODORE TRAVERS. Yes, but you know some people object to it, so I generally make short memoranda on my cuff and copy them out afterwards. TED MORRIS. Very considerate of you, I'm sure. But don't you trouble about it in this case. If you can make anything out of us you go ahead. It's more than we can do ourselves. THEODORE TRAVERS. (_Takes out note-book_,) Well now, that's really very kind of you. I will. To tell you the truth, that's partly why I came here. I'm giving the medical students a turn in my next book, and I wanted to get material. (_Writing._) Hard up, of course? (_Ted nods._) Loud tie. (_Sniffs._) Shag! (_Turns to Jack._) Friend an artist? Also hard up? Coloured shirt! JACK MEDBURY. They last clean so much longer than the white ones. THEODORE TRAVERS. Quite so--blunt and careless. Gentleman on mantelpiece seems to be suffering from toothache. TED MORRIS. (_Laughs._) Oh, that's Nelly's nonsense, I suppose. This is Mr. Tapley. We call him Mr. Tapley because he is always so jolly. THEODORE TRAVERS. (_Shutting book._) Thanks. Now that will be really useful to me. You see I'm a realist. We don't imagine, we study; the world's my scenery, mankind my characters. I write as I run. JACK MEDBURY. Do you ever get your head punched? THEODORE TRAVERS. Did once. TED MORRIS. What did you do? THEODORE TRAVERS. Made a note of the experience while it was fresh in my mind, and then hit him back. JACK MEDBURY. You don't waste your experiences? THEODORE TRAVERS. Never. Experience is the cypher that explains the universe. I've been everything, done everything, made a note of everything, and understand everything. I've fought in Russia and made love in Spain, edited a newspaper in Calcutta, and ran a company in New York. Been imprisoned in Japan, and married in Egypt. I've studied mankind from the Equator to the Pole and I flatter myself I know the poor thing inside and out. TED MORRIS.