You're rather young to know so much. Aren't you afraid of overdoing it, and injuring yourself? THEODORE TRAVERS. My dear fellow, I never was young. Age is a question of senses, not of seasons. I was born pretty much as you see me now. I told my first lie before most children can lisp the truth. I posed before most children can stand. I drank brandy at an age when most children lick sherbet, and made love while my co-temporaries were making mudpies. JACK MEDBURY. I wonder you care to stop on any longer in this world. THEODORE TRAVERS. Duty, my dear fellow. I'm wanted down here. The age requires me. Great men are scarce. TED MORRIS. And modest--I always thought. THEODORE TRAVERS. A popular delusion. They pretend to be. In reality they all think of themselves exactly as I think of myself; I am setting them an example of naturalness and candour. TED MORRIS. (_Laughs._) You certainly can't be accused of the "pride that apes humility." Well, and how are my respected aunt and uncle? THEODORE TRAVERS. Mr. and Mrs. Ben Dixon? Oh, they are getting on very well now. I've gone to live with them. TED MORRIS. Awfully good of you. How do you get on with the old man? THEODORE TRAVERS. Ben Dixon? Well, I like him. He amuses me. TED MORRIS. Is he still in the philanthropic line? THEODORE TRAVERS. Yes, doing a bigger business than ever. I'm afraid he won't live long. They'll be wanting him for an angel when the next vacancy occurs. He is a County Councillor already. By-the-bye, he landed you pretty heavily, didn't he? TED MORRIS. Oh, that was my fault. I let him invest all our money in some cast-iron affair that was going to pay a hundred per cent. He had influence with the Directors, and got them to let us into it--as a favour. THEODORE TRAVERS. Um! and a very pretty little "let in" it was. Well, it's all experience, my dear boy--all. (_Enter Nelly. Theodore rises._) TED MORRIS. This is my sister. THEODORE TRAVERS. I envy you, my dear boy. How do you do, Miss Morris? I'm Theodore Travers, your cousin, you know. NELLY MORRIS. Oh, yes, I remember. How did you manage to find us? THEODORE TRAVERS. Oh, the step-mater's been on your track ever since you disappeared. She'll be here in a minute. TED MORRIS. (_Aghast._) Mrs. Ben Dixon coming here! THEODORE TRAVERS. Yes, and he's coming too. I ought to have told you before, only I've been so taken up with your interesting conversation. TED MORRIS. (_Aside, savagely._) Why the deuce can't they wait till they're asked? THEODORE TRAVERS. And if you would permit me, as a practical stage-manager, I would suggest a rearrangement of the props. (_Looking round room._) Let me see. Step-mater will take the centre of the stage, of course; she always does, from force of habit. NELLY MORRIS. (_Putting flimsy chair R. of table, and smiling._) There! THEODORE TRAVERS. Yes, that's the place, but it's not the chair. (_Shaking and testing it._) JACK MEDBURY.