The psycho-analytic study of the familyFlugel, J. C. (John Carl)
Science
The psycho-analytic study of the family
Flugel, J. C. (John Carl)
Families; Marriage; Parent and child; Psychoanalysis
welfare[270].
[Sidenote: The danger is greatest in the case of parents of strong
personality]
[Sidenote: though there may be difficulties also in the case of weak
parents]
The danger is perhaps greatest in the case of strong willed,
self-assertive and energetic parents, who in any case, as we have seen,
are likely to exert a powerful influence over their children, and who,
by an undue insistence on the authority which they possess, may easily
cripple all initiative on the part of these latter. In parents who
themselves are weak and averse from serious effort there is naturally
less likelihood of this occurring: in such cases the danger lies more
frequently in the direction of their devoting too little time, trouble
or guidance to their children: or else in their adoption of a changeable
and inconsistent attitude--petting, indulging, spoiling and bribing one
minute, bullying, nagging and punishing the next; being now overstrict,
now easy-going.
[Sidenote: Necessity of parental readjustment]
Here, as in the case of the love-weaning, it is difficult or impossible
for parents to carry out satisfactorily the steps necessary for the
gradual emancipation of their children, except in so far as they are able
to make a corresponding readjustment of their own emotions and tendencies.
New interests and occupations must gradually take the place of those that
formerly centred round the children; otherwise there is likely to arise a
blank in the affective life, which may lead to much unhappiness and even
to neurosis.
[Sidenote: Too prolonged parental jurisdiction is a cause of
filio-parental hatred in later life]
In considering the question of the emancipation of children from the
authority and influence of their parents, it is well to bear in mind also
that it is the exercise of this authority and influence which affords the
principal occasion for the development or continuance of the hatred of
children towards their parents in adolescent or adult life. The arousal
of some hatred in the early years of childhood may indeed be inevitable.
Its continuance into later life, with all the misery that this is apt
to entail, may probably in nearly every case be avoided, provided that
the stage of infantile jealousy has been successfully surmounted and
that the child is endowed with something approaching the usual degree of
amenability and sympathy with the point of view and susceptibilities of
others; the rest is very largely a matter of the careful relaxation of
parental authority and of the granting of reasonable and ever increasing
amounts of liberty and of opportunity for self-guidance and self-control.
[Sidenote: The dependence of children upon parent-substitutes must also be
gradually reduced]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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