English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600; Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616 -- Spurious and doubtful works
SIR GODFREY.
Fear not, Sir Oliver Muck-hill, I’ll stick close for you;
leave all with me.
[Enter George Pye-board, the scholar.]
PYE.
By your leave, Lady Widdow.
WIDDOW.
What, another suitor now?
PYE.
A suitor! no, I protest, Lady, if you’d give me your self,
I’d not be troubled with you.
WIDDOW.
Say you so, Sir? then you’re the better welcome, sir.
PYE.
Nay, Heaven bless me from a Widdow, unless I were sure to
bury her speedily!
WIDDOW.
Good bluntness: well, your business, sir?
PYE.
Very needful; if you were in private once.
WIDDOW.
Needful? brother, pray leave us; and you, sir.
FRAILTY.
I should laugh now, if this blunt fellow should put ’em all
by side the stirrup, and vault into the saddle himself. I
have seen as mad a trick.
[Exit Frailty.]
[Enter Daughters.]
WIDDOW.
Now Sir?—here’s none but we—Daughters, forbear.
PYE.
O no, pray, let ’em stay, for what I have to speak importeth
equally to them as to you.
WIDDOW.
Then you may stay.
PYE.
I pray bestow on me a serious ear,
For what I speak is full of weight and fear.
WIDDOW.
Fear?
PYE.
Aye, ift pass unregarded, and uneffected; Else peace and
joy:—I pray, Attention. Widdow, I have been a mere
stranger for these parts that you live in, nor did I ever
know the Husband of you, and Father of them, but I truly
know by certain spiritual Intelligence, that he is in
Purgatory.
WIDDOW.
Purgatory? tuh; that word deserves to be spit upon. I
wonder that a man of sober tongue, as you seem to be, should
have the folly to believe there’s such a place.
PYE.
Well, Lady, in cold blood I speak it; I assure you that
there is a Purgatory, in which place I know your husband to
reside, and wherein he is like to remain, till the dissolution
of the world, till the last general Bon-fire, when all the
earth shall melt into nothing and the Seas scald their finny
labourers; so long is his abidance, unless you alter the
property of your purpose, together with each of your Daughters
theirs; that is, the purpose of single life in your self and
your eldest Daughter, and the speedy determination of marriage
in your youngest.
MOLL.
How knows he that? what, has some Devil told him?
WIDDOW.
Strange he should know our thoughts:—Why, but, Daughter, have
you purposed speedy Marriage?
PYE.
You see she tells you aye, for she says nothing. Nay, give me
credit as you please. I am a stranger to you, and yet you see I
know your determinations, which must come to me Metaphysically,
and by a super-natural intelligence.
WIDDOW.
This puts Amazement on me.
FRANCES.
Know our secrets!
MOLL.
I’d thought to steal a marriage: would his tongue
Had dropt out when be blabbed it!
WIDDOW.
But, sir, my husband was too honest a dealing man to be now
in any purgatories—
PYE.
O, Do not load your conscience with untruths;
Tis but mere folly now to gild him o’er,
That has past but for Copper. Praises here
Cannot unbind him there: confess but truth.
I know he got his wealth with a hard grip:
Oh hardly, hardly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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