English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600; Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616 -- Spurious and doubtful works
PYE.
I am now wretched and miserable. I shall ne’er recover
of this disease: hot Iron gnaw their fists! they have struck
a Fever into my shoulder, which I shall ne’er shake out
again, I fear me, till with a true Habeas Corpus the Sexton
remove me. Oh, if I take prison once, I shall be pressed
to death with Actions, but not so happy as speedily; perhaps
I may be forty year a pressing, till I be a thin old man;
That, looking through the grates, men may look through me.
All my means is confounded: what shall I do? has my wits
served me so long, and now give me the slip (like a Trained
servant) when I have most need of ’em? no device to keep my
poor carcass fro these Puttocks?—yes, happiness! have I
a paper about me now? yes, too! I’ll try it, it may hit:
Extremity is Touch-stone unto wit. Aye, aye.
PUT.
Sfoot, how many yards are in thy Garters, that thou art so
long a tying on them? come away, sir.
PYE.
Troth, Sergeant, I protest, you could never ha took me at
a worse time; for now at this instant I have no lawful
picture about me.
PUT.
Slid, how shall we come by our fees then?
RAVEN.
We must have fees, Sirra.
PYE.
I could ha wisht, ifaith, that you had took me half an hour
hence for your own sake; for I protest, if you had not crossed
me, I was going in great joy to receive five pound of a
Gentleman, for the Device of a Mask here, drawn in this paper.
But now, come, I must be contented: tis but so much lost, and
answerable to the rest of my fortunes.
PUT.
Why, how far hence dwells that Gentleman?
RAVEN.
Aye, well said, sergeant, tis good to cast about for money.
PUT.
Speak; if it be not far—
PYE.
We are but a little past it, the next street behind us.
PUT.
Slid, w have waited upon you grievously already: if you’ll
say you’ll be liberal when you hate, give us double fees,
and spend upon’s, why we’ll show you that kindness, and go
along with you to the Gentleman.
RAVEN.
Aye, well said still, sergeant, urge that.
PYE.
Troth, if it will suffice, it shall be all among you; for
my part I’ll not pocket a penny: my hostess shall have her
four pound five shillings, and bate me the five pence, and
the other fifteen shillings I’ll spend upon you.
RAVEN.
Why, now thou art a good Scholar.
PUT.
An excellent Scholar, ifaith; has proceeded very well alate;
come, we’ll along with you.
[Exeunt with him: passing in they knock at the door with a
Knocker withinside.]
SCENE IV. A gallery in a gentleman’s house.
[Enter a servant.]
SERVANT.
Who knocks? who’s at door? we had need of a Porter.
PYE.
A few friends here:—pray, is the Gentleman your master within?
SERVANT.
Yes, is your business to him?
PYE.
Aye, he knows it, when he see’s me: I pray you, have you
forgot me?
SERVANT.
Aye, by my troth, sir. Pray come near; I’ll in and tell him
of you: please you to walk here in the Gallery till he comes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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