English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600; Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616 -- Spurious and doubtful works
GENTLEMAN.
By my troth, an excellent device.
PUT.
An excellent device, he says; he likes it wonderfully.
GENTLEMAN.
A my faith, I never heard a better.
RAVEN.
Hark, he swears he never heard a better, Sergeant.
PUT.
O, there’s no talk on’t, he’s an excellent Scholar, and
especially for a Mask.
GENTLEMAN.
Give me your Paper, your Device; I was never better pleased
in all my life: good wit, brave wit, finely wrought! come
in, sir, and receive your money, sir.
PYE.
I’ll follow your good Worship.—
You heard how he liked it now?
PUT.
Puh, we know he could not choose but like it: go thy ways;
thou art a witty fine fellow, ifaith, thou shalt discourse
it to us at Tavern anon, wilt thou?
pye.
Aye, aye, that I will. Look, Sergeants, here are Maps, and
pretty toys: be doing in the mean time. I shall quickly
have told out the money, you know.
PUT.
Go, go, little villain, fetch thy chinck. I begin to love
thee; I’ll be drunk to night in thy company.
PYE.
[Aside.] This Gentleman I may well call a part
Of my salvation, in these earthly evils,
For he has saved me from three hungry Devils.
[Exit George.]
PUT.
Sirrah Sergeant, these Maps are pretty painted things, but
I could ne’er fancy ’em yet: me thinks they’re too busy,
and full of Circles and Conjurations; they say all the
world’s in one of them, but I could ne’er find the Counter
in the Poultry.
RAVEN.
I think so: how could you find it? for you know, it stands
behind the houses.
DOGSON.
Mass, that’s true; then we must look ath’ back-side fort.
Sfoot, here’s nothing, all’s bare.
RAVEN.
I warrant thee, that stands for the Counter, for you know
there’s a company of bare fellows there.
PUT.
Faith, like enough, Sergeant; I never marked so much before.
Sirrah Sergeant, and Yeoman, I should love these Maps out
a cry now, if we could see men peep out of door in em: oh,
we might have em in a morning to our Break-fast so finely,
and ne’er knock our heels to the ground a whole day for em.
RAVEN.
Aye, marry, sir, I’d buy one then my self. But this talk is
by the way: where shall’s sup to night? Five pound
receiv’d! let’s talk of that. I have a trick worth all:
you two shall bear him to ’th Tavern, whilst I go close with
his Hostess, and work out of her. I know she would be glad
of the sum to finger money, because she knows tis but a
desperate debt, and full of hazard. What will you say, if
I bring it to pass that the Hostess shall be contented with
one half for all; and we to share tother fifty-shillings,
bullies?
PUT.
Why, I would call thee King of Sergeants, and thou shouldst
be Chronicled in the Counter book for ever.
RAVEN.
Well, put it to me, we’ll make a Night on’t, yfaith.
DOGSON.
Sfoot, I think he receives a more money, he stays so long.
PUT.
He tarries long, indeed: may be, I can tell you, upon the
good liking ont the Gentleman may prove more bountiful.
RAVEN.
That would be rare; we’ll search him.
PUT.
Nay, be sure of it, we’ll search him! and make him light
enough.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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