The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.Bangs, John Kendrick
Science
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.
Bangs, John Kendrick
Doyle, Arthur Conan, 1859-1930 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Fantasy fiction; Holmes, Sherlock (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
"It was in this way that I treated the strange case of the lost tiara,"
resumed the stranger. "Mental concentration upon seemingly insignificant
details alone enabled me to bring about the desired results in that
instance. A brief outline of the case is as follows: It was late one
evening in the early spring of 1894. The London season was at its height.
Dances, fetes of all kinds, opera, and the theatres were in full blast,
when all of a sudden society was paralyzed by a most audacious robbery. A
diamond tiara valued at L50,000 sterling had been stolen from the Duchess
of Brokedale, and under circumstances which threw society itself and every
individual in it under suspicion--even his Royal Highness the Prince
himself, for he had danced frequently with the Duchess, and was known to
be a great admirer of her tiara. It was at half-past eleven o'clock at
night that the news of the robbery first came to my ears. I had been
spending the evening alone in my library making notes for a second volume
of my memoirs, and, feeling somewhat depressed, I was on the point of
going out for my usual midnight walk on Hampstead Heath, when one of my
servants, hastily entering, informed me of the robbery. I changed my mind
in respect to my midnight walk immediately upon receipt of the news, for I
knew that before one o'clock some one would call upon me at my lodgings
with reference to this robbery. It could not be otherwise. Any mystery of
such magnitude could no more be taken to another bureau than elephants
could fly--"
"They used to," said Adam. "I once had a whole aviary full of winged
elephants. They flew from flower to flower, and thrusting their
probabilities deep into--"
"Their what?" queried Johnson, with a frown.
"Probabilities--isn't that the word? Their trunks," said Adam.
"Probosces, I imagine you mean," suggested Johnson.
"Yes--that was it. Their probosces," said Adam. "They were great
honey-gatherers, those elephants--far better than the bees, because they
could make so much more of it in a given time."
Munchausen shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid I'm outclassed by these
antediluvians," he said.
"Gentlemen! gentlemen!" cried Sir Walter. "These interruptions are
inexcusable!"
"That's what I think," said the stranger, with some asperity. "I'm having
about as hard a time getting this story out as I would if it were a
serial. Of course, if you gentlemen do not wish to hear it, I can stop;
but it must be understood that when I do stop I stop finally, once and for
all, because the tale has not a sufficiency of dramatic climaxes to
warrant its prolongation over the usual magazine period of twelve months."
"Go on! go on!" cried some.
"Shut up!" cried others--addressing the interrupting members, of course.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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