The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.Bangs, John Kendrick
Science
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.
Bangs, John Kendrick
Doyle, Arthur Conan, 1859-1930 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Fantasy fiction; Holmes, Sherlock (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
"Isn't he a daisy?" whispered Demosthenes to Diogenes as they climbed the
stairs.
"He is more than that; he's a blooming orchid," said Diogenes, with
intense enthusiasm. "I think I'll get my X-ray lantern and see if he's
honest."
IX
CAPTAIN KIDD MEETS WITH AN OBSTACLE
"Excuse me, your Majesty," remarked Helen of Troy as Cleopatra accorded
permission to Captain Kidd to speak, "I have not been introduced to this
gentleman nor has he been presented to me, and I really cannot consent to
any proceeding so irregular as this. I do not speak to gentlemen I have
not met, nor do I permit them to address me."
"Hear, hear!" cried Xanthippe. "I quite agree with the principle of my
young friend from Troy. It may be that when we claimed for ourselves all
the rights of men that the right to speak and be spoken to by other men
without an introduction was included in the list, but I for one have no
desire to avail myself of the privilege, especially when it's a
horrid-looking man like this."
Kidd bowed politely, and smiled so terribly that several of the ladies
fainted.
"I will withdraw," he said, turning to Cleopatra; and it must be said that
his suggestion was prompted by his heartfelt wish, for now that he found
himself thus conspicuously brought before so many women, with falsehood on
his lips, his courage began to ooze.
"Not yet, please," answered the chair-lady. "I imagine we can get about
this difficulty without much trouble."
"I think it a perfectly proper objection too," observed Delilah, rising.
"If we ever needed etiquette we need it now. But I have a plan which will
obviate any further difficulty. If there is no one among us who is
sufficiently well acquainted with the gentleman to present him formally to
us, I will for the time being take upon myself the office of ship's barber
and cut his hair. I understand that it is quite the proper thing for
barbers to talk, while cutting their hair, to persons to whom they have
not been introduced. And, besides, he really needs a hair-cut badly. Thus
I shall establish an acquaintance with the captain, after which I can with
propriety introduce him to the rest of you."
"Perhaps the gentleman himself might object to that," put in Queen
Elizabeth. "If I remember rightly, your last customer was very much
dissatisfied with the trim you gave him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account