The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq. — John Shaqi
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.Bangs, John Kendrick
Science
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.
Bangs, John Kendrick
Doyle, Arthur Conan, 1859-1930 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Fantasy fiction; Holmes, Sherlock (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
"It will be unnecessary to do what Delilah proposes," said Mrs. Noah, with
a kindly smile, as she rose up from the corner in which she had been
sitting, an interested listener. "I can introduce the gentleman to you all
with perfect propriety. He's a member of my family. His grandfather was
the great-grandson a thousand and eight times removed of my son Shem's
great-grandnephew on his father's side. His relationship to me is
therefore obvious, though from what I know of his reputation I think he
takes more after my husband's ancestors than my own. Willie, dear, these
ladies are friends of mine. Ladies, this young man is one of my most
famous descendants. He has been a man of many adventures, and he has been
hanged once, which, far from making him undesirable as an acquaintance,
has served merely to render him harmless, and therefore a safe person to
know. Now, my son, go ahead and speak your piece."
The good old spirit sat down, and the scruples of the objectors having
thus been satisfied, Captain Kidd began.
"Now that I know you all," he remarked, as pleasantly as he could under
the circumstances, "I feel that I can speak more freely, and certainly
with a great deal less embarrassment than if I were addressing a gathering
of entire strangers. I am not much of a hand at speaking, and have always
felt somewhat nonplussed at finding myself in a position of this nature.
In my whole career I never experienced but one irresistible impulse to
make a public address of any length, and that was upon that unhappy
occasion to which the greatest and grandest of my great-grandmothers has
alluded, and that only as the chain by which I was suspended in mid-air
tightened about my vocal chords. At that moment I could have talked
impromptu for a year, so fast and numerously did thoughts of the uttermost
import surge upward into my brain; but circumstances over which I had no
control prevented the utterance of those thoughts, and that speech is
therefore lost to the world."
"He has the gift of continuity," observed Madame Recamier.
"Ought to be in the United States Senate," smiled Elizabeth.
"I wish I could make up my mind as to whether he is outrageously handsome
or desperately ugly," remarked Helen of Troy. "He fascinates me, but
whether it is the fascination of liking or of horror I can't tell, and
it's quite important."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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