Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
“I want my mother,” she cried, her little face quivering, and the great
tears of childish, utter anguish falling.
“She’s poorly, my lamb, she’s poorly to-night, but she’ll be better by
mornin’. Oh, don’t cry, don’t cry, love, she doesn’t want you to cry,
precious little heart, no, she doesn’t.”
Tilly took gently hold of the child’s skirts. Anna snatched back her
dress, and cried, in a little hysteria:
“No, you’re not to undress me—I want my mother,”—and her child’s face
was running with grief and tears, her body shaken.
“Oh, but let Tilly undress you. Let Tilly undress you, who loves you,
don’t be wilful to-night. Mother’s poorly, she doesn’t want you to
cry.”
The child sobbed distractedly, she could not hear.
“I want—my—mother,” she wept.
“When you’re undressed, you s’ll go up to see your mother—when you’re
undressed, pet, when you’ve let Tilly undress you, when you’re a little
jewel in your nightie, love. Oh, don’t you cry, don’t you—”
Brangwen sat stiff in his chair. He felt his brain going tighter. He
crossed over the room, aware only of the maddening sobbing.
“Don’t make a noise,” he said.
And a new fear shook the child from the sound of his voice. She cried
mechanically, her eyes looking watchful through her tears, in terror,
alert to what might happen.
“I want—my—mother,” quavered the sobbing, blind voice.
A shiver of irritation went over the man’s limbs. It was the utter,
persistent unreason, the maddening blindness of the voice and the
crying.
“You must come and be undressed,” he said, in a quiet voice that was
thin with anger.
And he reached his hand and grasped her. He felt her body catch in a
convulsive sob. But he too was blind, and intent, irritated into
mechanical action. He began to unfasten her little apron. She would
have shrunk from him, but could not. So her small body remained in his
grasp, while he fumbled at the little buttons and tapes, unthinking,
intent, unaware of anything but the irritation of her. Her body was
held taut and resistant, he pushed off the little dress and the
petticoats, revealing the white arms. She kept stiff, overpowered,
violated, he went on with his task. And all the while she sobbed,
choking:
“I want my mother.”
He was unheedingly silent, his face stiff. The child was now incapable
of understanding, she had become a little, mechanical thing of fixed
will. She wept, her body convulsed, her voice repeating the same cry.
“Eh, dear o’ me!” cried Tilly, becoming distracted herself. Brangwen,
slow, clumsy, blind, intent, got off all the little garments, and stood
the child naked in its shift upon the sofa.
“Where’s her nightie?” he asked.
Tilly brought it, and he put it on her. Anna did not move her limbs to
his desire. He had to push them into place. She stood, with fixed,
blind will, resistant, a small, convulsed, unchangeable thing weeping
ever and repeating the same phrase. He lifted one foot after the other,
pulled off slippers and socks. She was ready.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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